One of "those" days

Epi-do

I see dead people
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We weren't really busy yesterday, but after this run we were dispatched to a mental/emotional patient. She has a history of bi-polar disorder and has been non-compliant with her meds for at least a month, probably longer. Long story short, her husband was killed by a drunk driver and she has just completely fallen apart. She has made a couple feeble (so far) suicide attempts, of which last night was the latest. Her mother-in-law had a calming effect on her and agreed to ride in to the ER with us. On our way to the hospital, the patient tells her mother-in-law that she wants to be with her husband. Mother-in-law tells her she needs to get better so she can be a mom to her children, and the patient replies that it is ok because the kids will be with her and her husband. The mother-in-law then tells me this is something she has been saying for close to a month and asks me if I think she should contact social services.

I documented the comments in my narrative, notified the hospital, and when I got back to station my officer had me fill out an incident report and contacted PD to alert them to the situation. I had to make sure and leave my phone numbers with the officer that was coming on duty so that if PD wanted to talk to me, they would be able to contact me.

I am really concerned for these kids. I think mom is disturbed enough that she would actually act upon what she has said. Sometimes, this job really sucks....
 
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Hang in there! You have done what you can and more than most would have done.

I think that when we think there's the possibility of something horrific happening, we tend to downplay it in our brains with little internal monologues like... "I'm sure she didn't mean THAT" or "She's getting help and I'm sure they'll pick up on it"

To acknowledge it as a possiblity I think is one of the severest side effects of what we do. We know what people are capable of doing to themselves and others, what can happen in a wreck, what is a possible side effect of that overdose, and how bodies break.

Humanity is a double edged sword. We see courage and cowardice at work. We see the results of both physical trauma and illness and mental trauma and illness. You did a very courageous thing addressing this issue. I think of the aftermath of these kinds of calls kind of like a stain. Sometimes we get the gooey stuff on us, other times there's an emotional residue that leaves a bit of a stain.
 
I think it hits closer to home because we are moms ourselves. All I know is I have to tell myself this periodically, " Some days are going to be good and some days I wish they could be better." Then I look at my 2 kids and just smile......:)
 
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