New EMT, and question about personal relationships

G

granitendirt

Forum Ride Along
Messages
6
Reaction score
0
Points
0
Hi everyone,

I'm just finishing up my EMT-B class and am taking the certification exam in two weeks. I began volunteering in emergency services last January when I joined a local search and rescue agency. Going through the academy was the highlight of my year up until now. I am completely hooked on EMS, even more so after completing an ambulance ride-along and a shift in the ER. My goal now is to pass my cert exam and join a fire department as a volunteer.

I've enjoyed looking around the forums and gleaning insights from everyone who's been there already. One question that's come up in my own life is that of managing my personal relationships. I feel like my volunteer work in EMS has changed me, and changed my relationship with my boyfriend (who has no interest at all in EMS). Part of it is that I have very little free time now, and so see him less often. Another part of it is, I just feel differently about him. I always thought it wouldn't matter to me if I had separate interests and hobbies from my partner, but lately it's been weighing me down.

It's not just him, actually. I see all of my friends less, with the exception of my best friend who is also becoming an EMT right now, which has been awesome.

I know how this is probably going to go. It sucks to grow apart from someone you love. I know I'm probably not alone in experiencing this, either. Just another road to travel I suppose. I'd appreciate hearing from anyone who can chime in with their own experiences here.
 
Don't become so consumed by anything, EMS included, that your personal relationships suffer. I don't remember who on this forum uses the following phrase, but I'm going to borrow it here. EMS is always one back injury away from leaving you and moving on. It's good to enjoy yourself and take pride in what you do, but IMO, personal life should always come before what you do at work.
 
granitendirt said:
I'm just finishing up my EMT-B class and am taking the certification exam in two weeks. I began volunteering in emergency services last January when I joined a local search and rescue agency. Going through the academy
<snip>
Part of it is that I have very little free time now, and so see him less often.
Click to expand...
So you just spent most of the year doing a couple extra things on top of whatever school/work load you already had.

Those 2 things are now over it sounds like, so you should be able to go back to your normal routine, less a few nights/weekends here and there.

Wait for awhile and reassess your situation.

If it's just a problem related to lack of time together, that's not a big deal; very fixable.
granitendirt said:
feel like my volunteer work in EMS has changed me, and changed my relationship with my boyfriend <snip> Another part of it is, I just feel differently about him. I always thought it wouldn't matter to me if I had separate interests and hobbies from my partner, but lately it's been weighing me down.
Click to expand...
That is just an unfortunate fact of life. As people grow and move forward their interests, likes, dislikes, habits, values, views, goals and so forth tend to change. Which can change how they feel about various people.

Sometimes relationships don't last; it happens, no big deal.
 
The most important relationship you will ever have, from here forward, is the one you have with yourself. You can't allow others to determine how you feel. You can't allow others to determine your life's course. If you find someone that is generally going in the same direction as you, great! Just remember that they can (or you can) change and end up going separate ways. People do change. You will too. If you respect and tolerate the changes, and your partner in life does too, you can have a very long and generally happy life together.
 
My other half always says I am having an affair with her cheating on my EMS career.

People change its always going to happen.

If time constraints are the biggest issue, then time management is the key.

OTOH don't let the field consume you, its easy to get into this field and become overwhelmed with excitement and the enjoyment. Its kinda like a new puppy. When you first get it you don't want to leave it alone, and it grows on to become a big dog.

While the big dog is still there, you give it less attention, but you didn't forget it. But the rest of the world has moved on.

In this career your gonna make new friends and lifetime relationships. But don't let those close to you now suffer.

If the relationships are in trouble due to lack of time, thats fixable. If the relationships are in trouble because you changed and they cannot accept adapt and welcome it. Things may end sorry for your luck.
 
Thanks for all the feedback everyone. It's kind of illuminated for me the fact that yeah, I do really throw myself into my activities and it would be great if I could achieve some balance.

I know some of my relationships have waned due to lack of time, so it'll be nice to spend time with friends again when my class is over. Once I'm able to spend more time with my boyfriend it will probably be clearer if we're going to stay together or not.
 
I personally do not feel that this is an EMS related question or deserves an EMS related response. Relationship happen and work for many reasons, and sometimes your jobs are completely different. If its not going to work its not going to work. That does not mean that you give up, it just means look at the real problems of the relationship. Maybe you are a different person now, maybe EMS will change you even more, but where does that leave you in your current relationship? Move on if you have to.
 
Zombie, OP, I'm going to come down from Mount Paragod and tell you one of the Rules of Life:

People let this field define them, for better and for worse. Some can 'turn it off', some can't, and it doesn't leave us the same as when we came in. That's why this field is different from shopkeeping, from banking, from sales. Medicine is a field so vast and so challenging that those who are passionate for it, who want to do well in it, can't help but be involved in it.

Discuss this with your SO. Involve them in your life to a greater extent than you do this field.

Don't trade happiness for other people's health. It's a crappy trade.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top