InsidiousStealth
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First off I'm posting this for mostly therapeutic reasons and to get stuff off my chest. I'm not asking for people to flame me for doing something wrong as everyone was once new and should be given a chance and everyone learns differently from different preceptors as well as learning at different paces. I certainly felt like I haven't been given that chance. So here's my sob story [yeah I said it]. Note the companies and co-workers names in these stories will remain anonymous for professionalism purposes.
To those of you who have seen me post around here You will have known I was once very passionate for this job. I became an official ACP certified EMT in October. Before that I had been working for a volunteer ambulance service since Sept 2010 as an EMR. When I became an EMT I got hired on as a casual employee for a fairly big company and was pretty excited. I worked casual until I got on full time within one area with a diverse population that required more learning then normal places and a bigger learning curve [which EMS already has].
I was very happy and eager to be apart of a team I had 2 partners one I got along with really well and was super nice and accommodating to me being new and teaching me the ropes more [afterall its hard to be a great EMT after only 3 tours and not running a call for 5 months since I finished my prac in june and had to write ACP in October]. The other partner ultimately lead to my demise in that company.
He would yell at me 4-5 times in front of the patient on calls for really trivial stuff...like in the patients room one time we had him on the stretcher and I asked him if he was ready to lift and he said "go forward" but I thought he said "go for it" and I started counting and he yelled at me for that. On that same call he was carrying the patients wheelchair through the side door and i was going to go through the side door to close the back of the ambulance from the inside and start helping put an ECG on but instead he yells at me that he doesn't need help with the wheelchair and to close the door and sit up front. Another instance we were looking for a patients house and it wasn't the right patients house who we drove up to and there were a few dogs in front of the ambulance and he yelled at me to drive and that they'll move cause I slowed down cause I didn't want to run over them....well if that were true why do so many dogs get hit by cars....Anyhow these are just small things he'd yell at me for. If I missed a minor detail on a call like checking CMS on a cut foot for instance he would go to degrade me saying that's EMR stuff and first aid stuff and I should know that [i didnt check that cause I thought you only did that for sprains and fractures] Anyways a month after I started we only did like 4 or 5 tours together he felt it right to write a 7 page typed report about how much I sucked and half the stuff he wrote on there wasn't even true. The CEO of the company then took his word and didn't talk to my other partner to confirm his story and fired me.
I was pretty torn after and depressed insanely for like a month and a half cause I wanted to move up around there get a house and stuff...this was my dream job after all..no patients were killed or harmed in my care either no drugs were not given that were supposed to and vice versa all little mistakes were made there. If I could have done anything differently I would have stuck up for myself more and yelled back at him for his ignorance. I only attempted to speak to him for real about it once which only escalated his anger. I felt like yelling at him would be counter productive so I wouldn't do that to him.
fast forward a couple months later I got another full time job somewhere high up north. This time I was sure I was doing okay my partner never told me anything after calls or gave me any kind of feedback as to if I did something wrong and we even discussed it a few times [During my orientation with my manager and him she would give me feedback so I figured if something was pertinent he would have said it] and I would state I thought I did well on that call and he agreed. Next thing you know after only doing 14 days of the job I get a phone call from the manager stating that the owner my partner and her all thought I should be relieved of the job to go get more experience elsewhere...
I have decided to go get a nursing degree and with that gap train to be a paramedic and try and get on casual as a paramedic somewhere while working as a part time RN, As I do so and think about the 4 years of schooling ahead of me I can't help but feel deep regret and sadness. I still take shifts sometimes at the volunteer ambulance service I work for me and my manager there have a great relationship its like a family there but just doesn't pay the bills unfortunately.
There's my story, my problem with this industry is it seems like partners will be the "management", they'll just tell everything to management and that dictates what decisions will be made. and it has too much backstabbing, not enough learning and development to get better [which are 2 of the AHS principles ironically, which both companies contracted with AHS didn't seem to care about] I am shedding small tears writing this because it feels like a dream I was striving so hard towards is now shattered. I struggle with depression and some anxiety and although my girlfriend said to keep applying places I just feel like I won't be able to trust anyone if I do. Also I don't want AHS closing the doors on me if this happens within there. I truly feel sorry if this is happening to AHS employees.
My final wish for this industry in a small couple sentences that I wanna state is this. If you're getting into this industry to help people and make a difference. Why can't that energy also be placed towards making someone a better EMT and giving them a chance. That's helping out someone too you know....
Goodbye and thank you all for your time here and thanks for reading. I'll reply here and there.
To those of you who have seen me post around here You will have known I was once very passionate for this job. I became an official ACP certified EMT in October. Before that I had been working for a volunteer ambulance service since Sept 2010 as an EMR. When I became an EMT I got hired on as a casual employee for a fairly big company and was pretty excited. I worked casual until I got on full time within one area with a diverse population that required more learning then normal places and a bigger learning curve [which EMS already has].
I was very happy and eager to be apart of a team I had 2 partners one I got along with really well and was super nice and accommodating to me being new and teaching me the ropes more [afterall its hard to be a great EMT after only 3 tours and not running a call for 5 months since I finished my prac in june and had to write ACP in October]. The other partner ultimately lead to my demise in that company.
He would yell at me 4-5 times in front of the patient on calls for really trivial stuff...like in the patients room one time we had him on the stretcher and I asked him if he was ready to lift and he said "go forward" but I thought he said "go for it" and I started counting and he yelled at me for that. On that same call he was carrying the patients wheelchair through the side door and i was going to go through the side door to close the back of the ambulance from the inside and start helping put an ECG on but instead he yells at me that he doesn't need help with the wheelchair and to close the door and sit up front. Another instance we were looking for a patients house and it wasn't the right patients house who we drove up to and there were a few dogs in front of the ambulance and he yelled at me to drive and that they'll move cause I slowed down cause I didn't want to run over them....well if that were true why do so many dogs get hit by cars....Anyhow these are just small things he'd yell at me for. If I missed a minor detail on a call like checking CMS on a cut foot for instance he would go to degrade me saying that's EMR stuff and first aid stuff and I should know that [i didnt check that cause I thought you only did that for sprains and fractures] Anyways a month after I started we only did like 4 or 5 tours together he felt it right to write a 7 page typed report about how much I sucked and half the stuff he wrote on there wasn't even true. The CEO of the company then took his word and didn't talk to my other partner to confirm his story and fired me.
I was pretty torn after and depressed insanely for like a month and a half cause I wanted to move up around there get a house and stuff...this was my dream job after all..no patients were killed or harmed in my care either no drugs were not given that were supposed to and vice versa all little mistakes were made there. If I could have done anything differently I would have stuck up for myself more and yelled back at him for his ignorance. I only attempted to speak to him for real about it once which only escalated his anger. I felt like yelling at him would be counter productive so I wouldn't do that to him.
fast forward a couple months later I got another full time job somewhere high up north. This time I was sure I was doing okay my partner never told me anything after calls or gave me any kind of feedback as to if I did something wrong and we even discussed it a few times [During my orientation with my manager and him she would give me feedback so I figured if something was pertinent he would have said it] and I would state I thought I did well on that call and he agreed. Next thing you know after only doing 14 days of the job I get a phone call from the manager stating that the owner my partner and her all thought I should be relieved of the job to go get more experience elsewhere...
I have decided to go get a nursing degree and with that gap train to be a paramedic and try and get on casual as a paramedic somewhere while working as a part time RN, As I do so and think about the 4 years of schooling ahead of me I can't help but feel deep regret and sadness. I still take shifts sometimes at the volunteer ambulance service I work for me and my manager there have a great relationship its like a family there but just doesn't pay the bills unfortunately.
There's my story, my problem with this industry is it seems like partners will be the "management", they'll just tell everything to management and that dictates what decisions will be made. and it has too much backstabbing, not enough learning and development to get better [which are 2 of the AHS principles ironically, which both companies contracted with AHS didn't seem to care about] I am shedding small tears writing this because it feels like a dream I was striving so hard towards is now shattered. I struggle with depression and some anxiety and although my girlfriend said to keep applying places I just feel like I won't be able to trust anyone if I do. Also I don't want AHS closing the doors on me if this happens within there. I truly feel sorry if this is happening to AHS employees.
My final wish for this industry in a small couple sentences that I wanna state is this. If you're getting into this industry to help people and make a difference. Why can't that energy also be placed towards making someone a better EMT and giving them a chance. That's helping out someone too you know....
Goodbye and thank you all for your time here and thanks for reading. I'll reply here and there.
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