funniest call?

[gamma6]

let's hear em..i'm sure someone has posted this already...here's another..


had a pt who had 3 ft of tubing..around 1/2 inch or so...shoved 2 ft of it in his junk....1 ft hanging out.....

i asked the guy how this happened and how he managed to get 2 ft of it in, none the less.
he told me was doing it for pleasure and after about the 1st foot he felt pain..this guy was not the brightest on the planet i might add, probly uncle daddy issues there.

i called in my report and got about 30 secs to a min. of silence after my report, i had to ask if anyone was still there..the nurse said yes and to take him to bed c-4...

when we got there they had this smirk on their faces, i was trying to be professional about the whole situation. notice the word "WAS".

we got him back to the room and the urologist came in and started laughing as well as this smoken hot nurse. i had to leave the room so i wouldn't start laughing. i kept a straight faces and gave him the "hope you get better" line and left the ER.

 

[rescue99]

ahh..so many choices!

Probably the most memorable funny one was a suicidal guy in a pontoon chase across a lake. When the inebriated man fled, jumped aboard a pontoon with a knife to his own chest, PD comendeered the neighbor's and took chase. Picture; a pontoon chase around a 1/4 mile lake It was hillarious!

Yes, the man did stab himself but, not before reciting "and the end shall be mine", as he ran pontoon into the shore, sticking himself with a fillleting knife.

Not to worry, he lived to tell his tale of the high seas tale to a judge. Did a good job slicing into his diaphram though.

 

[frdude1000]

Arrive on scene to find a 30 y/o male with intermittent seizures standing up peeing while his mom holds a gatorade bottle under his penis. The family spoke no english and his pants were off in front of a huge crowd:wacko:

 

[gamma6]

hahahaha nice one about the pontoon boat, probly a slow race at that.

i have a similar story about a naked guy.

this was probly about 3 yrs ago....

my partner and i responded to the city jail for unknown illness, dispatch said to respond to the back door. we get on scene and the back door was closed (imagine this it's a jail. HA). cars basically park in front of this door on a slant. we get out and hear "hurry the :censored::censored::censored::censored: up you guys"...i start weaving my way towards the voice and find james and brandon, one a rockdale pd and the other a county deputy, laying on top of this big naked guy... i'm talken james taylor football big guy.....oh did i mention the dude is on PCP at this moment!!!!! my partner does a dive onto the pile to hold the guy down.....low be hold take a wild guess where his head lands...hahahaha man junkville.........i so wanted to bust out my phone and take a snap shot...well we wrestle him to the stretcher and give him 5mg of haldol and the dude takes it like benaka mouth spray..

we get him to the ER and the doc wants to take the hand cuffs off him, personally "screw you doc!!!!" at the moment. we wrestle with that guy for a good hr before we got him on the stretcher, that and the 2nd dose of haldol finally kicked in....i really don't think it was an hour..brobly like 20 min but it seemed like it took for ever.

we left and washed our hands of the naked pcp dude, hope the doc has on his runnin shoes.

 

[Lt.Col.Warren]

I was still an EMT Student and was one my very first ride time. I got there 15 min early and was introduced to the shift I would be riding with. During the meet and greet, the tones went off for a "black stool" call. I had no idea what that ment, but the captain walked out into the bay and yelled to the early shift if they wanted the "student". The answer wsa yes, so I jumped into the back of the resuce without having ever met the guys riding up front. I had no idea that the three medics were real jokers, so when we got to the call they had fun with me. As we were walking up to the door, one of the medics turns to me and said with a straight and serious," Okay, this lady is having some problems with her rectum. What I need you to do is bend her over, take a look and tell me what you see." My jaw hit the floor and I asked if he was serious and he responded, "Well, yes. Rectal bleeding is a very severe problem." Juts when I thought it could not get any worse, we opened the door and were hit with that lovely odor. Then, all the guys started chuckling and told me they were kidding and to relax.

 

[usafmedic45]

Snapping turtle bite to the penis....or "How I learned to stop skinny dipping and respect nature".

 

[nomofica]

Snapping turtle bite to the penis....or "How I learned to stop skinny dipping and respect nature".

Had the same scenario; however, the already inebriated guy and his buddies decided to play "cowboy" and put alcohol on the wounds... They used a can of beer that had somebody's cigarette ashes in it.

 

[Mountain Res-Q]

Funniest Call?

MVA involving 2 Clown Cars. How 2 Yugos = 27 Patients I will never understand. Drained every resource in the county. Every time I went to take a pulse my hand got tangled in 30 feet of handkerchiefs and every time I went to take a BP I was squirted in the face by a flower… ^_^

 

[firetender]

Funniest Call?

MVA involving 2 Clown Cars. How 2 Yugos = 27 Patients I will never understand. Drained every resource in the county. Every time I went to take a pulse my hand got tangled in 30 feet of handkerchiefs and every time I went to take a BP I was squirted in the face by a flower… ^_^

If this happened during show time and is true, can't beat it and won't even try! May as well close the thread. If it's a fib, however, don't worry, somewhere this happened.