First Code for me :( Pediatric

[InsidiousStealth]

So I worked my first code yesterday, I wasn't running the code but we run a 3 person truck and I was the second attendant and our unit was first on scene. I thought we did really well but the individual didn't come back.

It was particularly hard for me because the individual was an 11 year old male and as soon as ALS showed up they called it and we terminated CPR and it was just really really sad on me. I think the haunting look on his face kinda shook me deep a bit too. It was a really awesome call for experience but yeah.

Anyhow after that code was called my adrenaline was still racing cause we were doing CPR for about 15 minutes and my head just started racing with thoughts like holy :censored::censored::censored::censored: should i do this anymore but I'm fine now I love the career but it was just a very hard call for me. We did a brief CISM after that and each person on our crew was close to tears.

I think this and possibly SIDS or child abuse are the worst kind of EMS call to do

 

[b2dragun]

I'm glad you are doing well, I personally have not had a peds code yet. I have had prob 25 codes this year though (yes I have a black cloud). As cold as it may seem my advice is to let yourself clock in and clock out. Don't look at the pt as a person, just your task at the moment. If you just think protocol and training and do what you have to do you might come out better in the end. Once I clock out I am off the job and out of that frame of mind. I understand that this isn't a technique that will work for anyone, just my personal advice/experience. Good luck with everything

 

[the_negro_puppy]

Can I ask what the cause of the cardiac arrest was? (if known) I have yet to go to a paediatric arrest, ive done only 7 cardiac arrests in 19 months in road, im not sure how i'll react to be honest. I think the parents grief would be the worst aspect.

 

[SanDiegoEmt7]

Ped codes are always difficult... I personally agree with the what was said above about separating your emotions from work, but another way to think about is: that individual was gone either way, at least you did what you could to help.

In this job we see some tragic things, but we are not the cause of them, and as long as we give it our best effort then we should never feel guilt or responsibility.

 

[vamike]

I feel for ya. I haven't done a ped's code yet and dread the day I do. Two days ago I ran a code that turned out to be a good friend of mine. I was first EMT on the scene, and my first code as AIC. It sucks. Hard to distance yourself from the suffering and sadness of the patient and family.

 

[InsidiousStealth]

Thanks everyone. Yeah I had a good talk with someone about it last night and he was basically a really sick kid and I don't wanna go into too much details about what he had but the talk I had with someone basically had me convinced that he might have been too sick anyways and it was just his time to go.

His cause of death was aspiration. He basically wasn't feeling very well but it was a common occurance for him to be like this but they had booked an appointment at a pediatric hospital for that day to bring him in and he basically vomited all of a sudden and it went into his lungs and thats what did it. Definitely was really hard for me on scene when it was about to be called also cause of my sympathy for the family since they were right about to bring him in

I guess one thing that kinda shocked me was I never imagined my first code to be a ped. I definitely learned so much about it for my next code though which is awesome

 

[Elk Oil]

had me convinced that he might have been too sick anyways and it was just his time to go.

Sounds like you're keeping a healthy perspective. I've adopted a philosophy that my purpose isn't to save lives. Rather my purpose is to give the best care I possibly can. Sometimes this saves lives, and sometimes it doesn't.

The next time, you may have a patient present the same exact way and you'll do the same exact things but the outcome will be different. Those aren't things you control. You can only do what you're capable of.

Feel good about having the opportunity to help. I'm sure the family was grateful for the efforts of you and your crew.

 

[InsidiousStealth]

Sounds like you're keeping a healthy perspective. I've adopted a philosophy that my purpose isn't to save lives. Rather my purpose is to give the best care I possibly can. Sometimes this saves lives, and sometimes it doesn't.

The next time, you may have a patient present the same exact way and you'll do the same exact things but the outcome will be different. Those aren't things you control. You can only do what you're capable of.

Feel good about having the opportunity to help. I'm sure the family was grateful for the efforts of you and your crew.

Brilliant post. Thanks a lot thats awesome. I am sooo grateful for the experience it gave me but also a bit sad mixed with happy that i've now faced one of the toughest EMS challenges. I'm sure I'll be fine but what you said was awesome thanks

 

[sirengirl]

I had a classmate who, on his first call of his first clinical, was doing a code on a 4-year old drowning victim. Worst part is the kid's mom was a nurse at the hospital they were taking him to. He told us he was doing CPR on this kid for about 20 minutes as they were goin' code 3 down the road. Shocked the kid twice and managed to bring back a pulse, the kid died later that night in the ED.

I'm glad you're managing okay with it. I've been blessed enough not to work a code yet, and I know that day will suck. I'm sorry your first was a ped though.

 

[InsidiousStealth]

I had a classmate who, on his first call of his first clinical, was doing a code on a 4-year old drowning victim. Worst part is the kid's mom was a nurse at the hospital they were taking him to. He told us he was doing CPR on this kid for about 20 minutes as they were goin' code 3 down the road. Shocked the kid twice and managed to bring back a pulse, the kid died later that night in the ED.

I'm glad you're managing okay with it. I've been blessed enough not to work a code yet, and I know that day will suck. I'm sorry your first was a ped though.

whoa thats intense. thanks for your concern. I knew this was a lost cause though the second I saw him plus the pads were on him right away and no shock was advised every time Again though amazing experience and will take what I learned for the next code and will do way better at it next time [not that I did bad in the first place but you know]

 

[Grimler]

Man that's tough. On my first clinical we ran on a SIDS patient. The mother was the worst part of it. When I was talking it over with the paramedic that I ran with asked me if I was religious at all and I told him I was and he just said "God made EMTs to try to change his mind, but sometimes God doesn't change his mind"

 

[Elk Oil]

Brilliant post. Thanks a lot thats awesome. I am sooo grateful for the experience it gave me but also a bit sad mixed with happy that i've now faced one of the toughest EMS challenges. I'm sure I'll be fine but what you said was awesome thanks

No sweat, just paying it forward and hoping to help. Yes, these calls are sad; there's no way around that. You chose to become and EMT because you can be sad situations over and over and know that you can still provide care. This family may never experience anything this sad again, but your next call may be even worse (if that's possible). Focusing on the positives like the experiences it gives you and learning will help you through the worst EMS has to offer.

If I may get on a soapbox for a minute, I'll share something else with you that I've picked up along the way. During a CPR class, one of the students was a school teacher. After the class she said, "Oh God... I hope I never have to use this on someone," and she seemed genuinely afraid of thinking of the possibilities.

I said to her, "I understand you don't want any of your students to go into cardiac arrest and need CPR, but you're getting trained in skills that could save someone's life. Instead of being afraid of it, embrace the idea of having to do CPR. Run scenarios through your mind so that you become used to having to do it. That way, instead of facing your worst fears someday, you're well equipped to deal with a crisis. After all, who would you rather have at an incident: someone like yourself who knows what to do, or someone who doesn't?"

She smiled the kind of smile you get when you've just been given something new to think about. I hope it helped her. I hope it helps you, too.

 

[the_negro_puppy]

whoa thats intense. thanks for your concern. I knew this was a lost cause though the second I saw him plus the pads were on him right away and no shock was advised every time Again though amazing experience and will take what I learned for the next code and will do way better at it next time [not that I did bad in the first place but you know]

You will rarely ever have to defibrillate a paediatric patient as V-tach and V-fib are largely caused by cardio-vascular disease and congenital heart defects. Most paediatric patients in cardiac arrest will present in PEA or asystole.

 

[firetender]

This is what's called full participation in life.

That involves, sometimes, participation in death as well.

You're getting it all, as that's what you signed up for.

In the last moment of that kid's life, he had someone there who cared and tried his best.

Not everyone gets sent off that way.

Accept the Lad as your teacher.