Dealing with death.

[TheAfterAffect]

It's weird how this job changes you.

Literally 5 minutes ago, I found out from my father that my Grandfather had passed away last night. What really irked me, Was that I don't have that same emotional push on me that I did a few years ago when my Grandmother had passed away.

I'm partially attributing this to my job as an EMT and working with death on a, I don't want to say day by day and seem morbid, but a regular basis. I'm not trying to :censored::censored::censored::censored::censored::censored::censored:ize the job, or anything of that sorts. I just merely thought how miraculous this job was that it can change your human emotion, for even your own family, that much.

I'd prefer to not get the "Sorry for your loss" replies, But rather a nice little discussion on whether I'm the only one who seems to see it this way or not.

 

[DesertRatetteEMT]

I understand....

I am still a student, but I have had 13 people I have known closely die in the last 2 years. I had one guy go code on the table, and that screwed me up a little the next day, although he was resuscitated and stabilized. I still don't know what it was.... maybe an underlying psychological response to witnessing that, but that's besides the point. I have had so many people pass recently, that I don't cry anymore. I just accept it and move on, and eventually mourn my loss of them here and there. A lot of people would assume me to be sociopathic with that sort of behavior at the age of 21, but my day to day personality completely negates that assumption. I deal with it very well in the present, and it comes out later when it really hits home that I'll never see this person again. And then... again... I move on. Such is life.

 

[BossyCow]

The word 'should' is inappropriate when speaking of emotions. We get caught up in what we 'should' feel or act instead of just accepting what is. It doesn't mean that you cared more for one loved one than another because you reacted differently. Emotions abide by no rules.