Protoman2050
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I hope that was a poorly worded jest?
There's nothing a medic can do for an epidural hematoma, mitral regurgitation, and pulmonary / cradiac contusions... let alone be able to detect them and confirm them in the field... 2 year college degree or not.
But hey, tension pneumo? We can dart you till your face turns blue! (Which hopefully doesn't happen...)
You can *suspect* epidural hematoma if my LOC starts going down and I become confused. Also, if I'm bradycardic and have an increased pulse pressure, that's a sign of increased ICP. If that happens, please administer furosemide and hyperventilate me, for that will decrease the amount of blood in my vessels, and cause the cerebral vessels to constrict.
Also, if you use your stethoscope, MR will be a loud holosystolic murmur. Management is Nitropress to reduced afterload and decrease regurgitant fraction.
Pulmonary contusion will cause painful breathing, decreased SaO2, dry rales, and decreased breath sounds.
Cardiac contusion will cause sternal pain and possibly arrhythmias.
Yes, this was sort of a joke.