CCT Paramedic AF.

[exodus]

Be me

Transport Medic

0805 time to wake up

Shift started at 0800

Grab uniform shirt. Its dirty and needs to be ironed...put it on anyway. Pair it with my tactical sweat pants.

Roll into work 30 min late. Manager pretends to do paperwork so he doesnt have to aknowledge my fifth tardy of the week.

Get on the truck. My partner is brand new. EMTs make 10.03 an hour here, but it still pisses me the hell off that I don't have a seasoned partner to back me up.

Force partner to check off the truck while I go smoke. Little puppy eyes comes back and says drug box is out of date. Send him to steal a good one off another truck.

Go in service. Time to save. ****ing. lives.

Partner seems nervous. I hope he's ready to see the show. The things I've seen. The things I've done. I have become parajesus. Destroyer of death.

Tones Drop. Its time.

"Medic one, medic one, respond to Main Street General. Gotta discharge for you going back to the nursing home.

Turn lights and sirens on. Partner looks confused. I tell him "seconds count, somebody needs us". Scream through city. Stop a block before hospital. Time for a cigarette. Finish cigarette. Throw a dip in. Turn siren back on and head in to hospital.

****ing city medics are blocking up the ambulance bay. Don't they know I've got work to do.

Walk in. Nurse says "ambulance drivers are here". ::triggered:: yell at her that I am a critical care flight paramedic trained in all manner of emergency medicine things. Not an ambulance driver, a ****ing lifesaver. Turn to partner, "this is BLS, I'll drive".

Call is done.

Go to krispy kreme. Get a dozen donuts and a diet coke. Start to walk back to my vanbulance.

"Sir, you havn't paid for that"

Turn so he can see my paramedic patch

"Oh, didnt see you were a city medic. Thanks for everything you do. Its on the house"

Internally: REEEEEEEEEE

Externally: "thank you for your thank you"

Posted on street corner. Not like those sissy city medics in their plush stations playing xbox with the hose draggers. I live a hard rugged life. Living off of slurpees and the occasional sip from a dip spit cup.

Tones drop again. ****ing go time.

"Medic one, medic one, respond to Bumfuck Hospital for transfer. Pt requires a vent, iv pump, and cardiac monitor."

This is what seperates me from those know nothing 911 medics. Critical ****ing care. When I roll in to the ER with this spaghetti of tubing and wires they'll see. They'll all see. Let's see them call me renal rescue then. Let's see them lock me out of the EMS room then.

Arrive on scene. Turn push to talk nextel to full volume so everyone knows I got a big ****.

Nurse suggest getting another large bore IV just in case. ****, I havnt started an IV since school. Start ****ting bullets.

Say "why dont you give it a shot first". Smooth. She goes for it. So what if she is 300 pounds with 4 kids and a shirt that says "save a life you're a hero, save many and you're a nurse." In that moment I love her.

Copy vent settings. Copy pump settings. Place leads on. Wipe sweat from brow. All this medicine is hard work. Go code 3 to the big city hospital. Don't touch anything the whole time. Set alarms so I can start writing report.

Time to call report to hospital. "This is Paramedic Jockey with Dialysis and Discharge Service en route to your facility with--

A voice interrupts "Is this the 40 yom from Bumfuck hospital"

"Yes"

"Bed assignment on arrival City Hospital clear"

But my report. i just want to do paramedic things.

Arrive at hospital. Turn over patient. Turn to rookie partner. "We saved that mans life tonight. I'm putting you in for a medal"

"We don't have medals."

****ing rookie. I'll have to show him the medals I made for the dress uniform I bought. He'll want one too. Of course I'll tell him he has to earn the right to make his own uniforms like everyone else.

Go to ems room. Fill pockets with snacks.

Return to post at 7/11. Those 911 guys have it easy. Sitting on their *** all day while I'm over here paramedic as **** and ****.

Check 911 aplication status.

Denied.

"We invite you to apply again after five years have elapsed from the date of your most recent DUI conviction."

**** em. Throw a dip in. Light a cigarette. Apply stolen nicotene patch.

Leave a message on my exwife's voice mail. She'll call back. Someday.

Tones drop

Refuse call cuz tired. Its not like they'll fire me.

Kick back and take in the view of 7/11's parking lot. Yup. This is the life.

911 is for pussies anyway.

Transport Medic
https://www.reddit.com/r/ems/comments/6mq9dc/transport_medic/

 

[DesertMedic66]

There is so much wrong with that post I only got maybe 1/4 of the way through. Hope to god that was either satire or someone trolling.

 

[Flying]

It's satire, if you can call it that. If you're going to do it, at least put some effort into it.

 

[luke_31]

Looks almost like a ripoff from some of the narrative from Bringing Out the Dead.

 

[Carlos Danger]

I thought it was kinda funny. Obviously satire.

 

[Summit]

Mildly funny satire

 

[NPO]

I mean, it's kinda funny. If you've ever worked IFT in LA, you get it.

Probably other metro areas too.

Sent from my Pixel XL using Tapatalk

 

[SandpitMedic]

Pretty funny.

The truth hurts for some.