So I kinda wrote this paper/poem thingy.... opinions

JerseyEMT87

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Ok, I wrote this like paper/poem thing at one of my jobs. I just wanted opinions on it. THANKS!!

Everyone has a wish, mine just seems to be different then a lot of the world. I know that people in my profession may feel the same, but I feel the need to express it in writing. Every holiday while most families are at home enjoying a hot meal, I get called out to a motor vehicle collision just as I sit down to enjoy mine. I can’t tell you how many memories I have missed making, helping others as they are hurt from the drunk driver that hit them. I have felt the pain of the families as I have held the hand of their loved one as they are on the brink of death. I have held a new life in my hands, and I have stopped one from ending, but I know that I can’t always win. People don’t stop getting hurt, or falling ill just because it’s a holiday, sometimes I feel like it is worse on those days. My job is to save lives, and I wish the families knew that it is not always in our capabilities to save everyone every time. I try to keep my emotions out of it, but it is so hard to keep your mind from thinking “Oh God, he is so young” as you give the 3 year old asthmatic oxygen waiting for the paramedics, or the baby with seizures even after their medicine”
Too many times I have gone home feeling like I could have done more, even though I know I couldn’t. Last time I had trouble, I went home to my fiancé and said “I should have known it was a stroke,” then he reminded me that not every sign or symptom is the same, a heart attack can look like a stroke while a stroke can look like AMS. A diabetic can smell like a drunk and you don’t always know what is wrong with the baby you have. I have been called so many names from the family after ALS pronounces. I just wish they would understand, I tried my hardest, I did my best, and unfortunately it was just his time. I can’t control every life even if I tried so it’s on to another day in the life of an EMT.
You go from one call to the next, no matter the call you need to forget the prior one. Keeping your mind free to think “what is my next move” and do it smoothly because their life is depending on you. Granted, not every call is a life saving situation, too many times it is an elderly person who just needs someone to talk to, or just feels weak. I get angry thinking I should be saving a life right now, not knowing I am. Just by talking to them, by letting them know you are there when you need them, it keeps them going.
An ambulance isn’t the only place that we make a difference. There are plenty of people who work at places that their skills are needed everyday. I work at a community that we have calls every day where they range from those need company, to CVAs and heart attacks. I continue to do my job, ignoring the things I can’t change and pushing for the ones I can. New upgraded equipment is unnecessary to the elder people I work with but vital for the younger ones. You see it as wasting money; I see it as saving time on one thing so you have more for others.
On a basic BLS call for me I go to an apartment, and in less than 20 minutes I take a set of vitals including BP, pulse, respirations, oxygen level, possible diagnosis, call our on call doctor, and have an ambulance on scene, Working as well for that company I know that they need other things as well like social security number, medications, past history all a list I am able to just hand over so they can save some time. The patient is usually in the hospital in less than half an hour. Way before the golden hour comes into play to make you nervous. From an ambulance point of view, we get a call from a facility, get there in an average of 11 minutes, get vitals and are on our way, again preserving that precious golden hour.
I know that some may know exactly how I feel but I just wish, my only wish, that the families could see it my way.
 
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