SFIS technology presents: Ambulance solutions

Veneficus

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The Stretcher Fetcher Interfacility Schlepper 2000x. (copyright)

This is the latest in interfacility transport. It is a slightly modified VW Passat wagon. It has a heavy duty gentle ride suspension for comfort and the rear and front passenger seats are removed in order to accommodate a stretcher. It is powered by the latest in efficient clean diesel technology, with a turbo charger which will increase fuel efficiency not being an oversized vehicle, and has no lights or sirens.

It boasts a hydraulic winch where the glove box and part of the front seat would have been, compatible with your stock stryker stretcher and rear fold down loading ramp.

The single technician who with a revolutionary 40 hours of training,(30 of which was in customer service) can attach the automated equipment which monitors and adjusts O2 saturation from the onboard o2 tank. Additionally it transmits via Bluetooth technology the ECG and other vital signs to our call center where a computer will alarm if the patients normal preset selected parameters are breached. This alarm will go to one of our contracted work from home RN staff, who will promptly be able to remotely defibrillate/pace/cardiovert, adjust the o2 settings, and even direct the tech in the administration of life saving intramuscular/nebulized medications or engage the automatic CPR machine which along with the monitor was attached by our highly skilled SFIS technician prior to transport.

It is cost saving in many ways. Not only do you not need a conventional ambulance, you don’t even need EMTs. You especially don’t have to pay 2 of them. It boasts excellent gas mileage as well as lowering your insurance costs by not running lights and sirens for scheduled IFT patients, and not being an oversized vehicle, reduces parking/backing accidents. Since our patented system makes the sending facility responsible for loading the patient, it even cuts down on the workman’s compensation claims.

Best of all it is discrete, nobody has to know your loved one is being transported to dialysis 3 days a week, for chemo or radiation, or to the STD clinic.

For premium home service, our agency will dispatch an additional 2 lifting goons, who when not responding are employed to work out at one of your local gyms/meat packing plants.

All this for a much smaller than a conventional ambulance fee plus mileage. There is also a fee applied after the first checked bag.

Also please enquire about our electronic protocol driven ALS emergency model.

See, who needs education? Technology, replacing one vocational laborer at a time.
 
Congratulations, Vene!

You're starting to get the picture.

You have been bringing out so many good questions, questions I'm sure you're grappling with personally, like "What is my place?" "Where do I REALLY fit in with this medicine thing?" "Am I me , we or ANYONE making the least bit of difference?" Who runs this show anyway?"

I hear ya Brother. My interpretation of the questions you ask and the ways you respond to the feedback you get is you keep going back to this nonsense about relieving the maximum amount of pain and suffering from the people who need it most; as if that is what medicine was about!

Get real, Vene!You're missing the boat in that you keep looking at medicine as if it were a humanitarian enterprise.

MEDICINE IS AN INDUSTRY!

And in the above, You Actually Thought You Were Kidding!

I thought you were beginning to understand.
 
You're starting to get the picture.

You have been bringing out so many good questions, questions I'm sure you're grappling with personally, like "What is my place?" "Where do I REALLY fit in with this medicine thing?" "Am I me , we or ANYONE making the least bit of difference?" Who runs this show anyway?"

I hear ya Brother. My interpretation of the questions you ask and the ways you respond to the feedback you get is you keep going back to this nonsense about relieving the maximum amount of pain and suffering from the people who need it most; as if that is what medicine was about!

Get real, Vene!You're missing the boat in that you keep looking at medicine as if it were a humanitarian enterprise.

MEDICINE IS AN INDUSTRY!

And in the above, You Actually Thought You Were Kidding!

I thought you were beginning to understand.

"Genuine humor is replete with wisdom."

--Mark Twain
 
They actually advertised something similar to the Passat wagon you're talking about, but based on a Ford Transit, in the latest issue of JEMS
 
They actually advertised something similar to the Passat wagon you're talking about, but based on a Ford Transit, in the latest issue of JEMS

Yea, but I am a fan of quality, not UAW garbage.
 
You're starting to get the picture.

You have been bringing out so many good questions, questions I'm sure you're grappling with personally, like "What is my place?" "Where do I REALLY fit in with this medicine thing?" "Am I me , we or ANYONE making the least bit of difference?" Who runs this show anyway?"

I hear ya Brother. My interpretation of the questions you ask and the ways you respond to the feedback you get is you keep going back to this nonsense about relieving the maximum amount of pain and suffering from the people who need it most; as if that is what medicine was about!

Get real, Vene!You're missing the boat in that you keep looking at medicine as if it were a humanitarian enterprise.


I always was told it was supposed to create and preserve wealth by helping people return to productive lives. (which when put in the perspective of feeding themselves or family is a bit humanitarian sounding.)

Shakespeare once wrote:

"Whether ' tis nobler in the mind to suffer The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, Or to take arms against a sea of troubles And, by opposing, end them."

Maybe since I figure US EMS is a lost cause I will work on the human side of medicine a bit?
 
Maybe since I figure US EMS is a lost cause I will work on the human side of medicine a bit?

When you run out of therapies, bells and whistles, all that's left is the human side. Since that's what you end up with finally, you may as well begin there as well.
 
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