Funny Experiences on a Job

RH3075

RH3075

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Hi All, I ws wondering if anyone wanted to share any truly funny experiences on calls. One of my best comes from an EDP (don't they all come from EDP's?). We picked up an EDp who was standing on a street corner yelling at traffic. We get him in the back of the bus, and as i can remember, the conversation goes something like this.

Me: So whats your name sir?
E: Jesus
M: You mean like HEY-Zeus?
E: No Jesus
M: OK, whats your last name
E: Christ, middle intial H.
M: (Trying hard not to bust out laughing) OK, well what do you do for a living
E: I am between jobs at the moment, but I am usually busy being the Savior of mankind.
M: OK, well do you have any medical history I should know about?
E: Nothing I havent taken care of my self, I can do that you know.
M: (innocently) Do what sir?
E: Cure illness, miracles, that sort of thing.
M: Ok, well we are going to go to the hospital and get you checked out anyway.
E: Ok, there are probably lots of sick people there who need my help.

At this point I totally crack up, laugh so hard I have tears in my eyes, and this guy is dead serious, never even cracks a smile. I sure hope he was just dillusional, because if he was the real deal, I might have some 'splainin' to do.


Just thought I would share...would love to hear your stories also,
 
heh~

and i thought i was 'God Da*nit', and my brother 'Jesus H Christ' until i was 10 or so...

~S~
 
THANK-YOU!!!! Bless the folks that have been "touched" in the head, in some other cases I think they were whacked in the head by a 2x4!!:P
as they say in the south... Bless their hearts!!!^_^
 
2am call. Toned out to a possible allergic reaction to insect bites???

We can hear the confusion fairly dripping from the voice of the dispatcher. Arrived to find two 30-ish females who have obviously been imbibing some sort of recreational chemicals. All the lights are off in the house and they become quite agitated at the suggestion that we might need some illumination.

They tell us that they have become infested with parasites. That these parasites are from African Tree Frogs and they have burrowed under their skin. They are both holding flashlights. They turn the flashlight onto a baby food jar that appears to have some skin flakes in it. They tell us that the only thing that seems to kill the parasites is 409, which they are spraying on each other liberally. Since they have been scratching themselves raw, the 409 stings, which they interprete as the 'parasites' burrowing in deeper which makes them scratch more and spray more.

As we take them in, for a psych eval. we warn them that they may have to go into the 'special room' not for 'quarantine purposes' just to be safe.
 
We were dispatched one night to assist the sheriff's department with a routine no-delay call for a patient that "thinks they are radioactive", the dispatcher was laughing so hard he could hardly get it out.

Upon arrival we found a mid 40's female talking to the deputy. He advised that she thinks she is radioactive and needs to be checked. After talking to her and she is A/O x 4, no ETOH on board, I ask her why she thinks she is radioactive. At which time she tells me something about the rotation of the earth and the planetary alignment is causing her to be radioactive. At this time I tell my rookie partner to follow me to the ambulance. So he did, I retrieved the necessary tools to fix this problem. I stuck a pediatric electrode, you know the ones with cute little teddy bears on them, in the middle of her forehead and told her it was a geigercounter, the lastest thing out to detect radiactivity. She needed to wear it for 24 hours, if it turned green to call EMS or go to the ER, if not she could just remove it, she was not radioactive. So I then left her in the care of the deputy, who was laughing so hard he about 'pizzed' himself. All he could say was he needed a job like ours. So I checked 10-8 EMS not needed and went back to the station and kicked my feet up with the remote in hand. Now that's EMS at its best.
 
Fedmedic said:
We were dispatched one night to assist the sheriff's department with a routine no-delay call for a patient that "thinks they are radioactive", the dispatcher was laughing so hard he could hardly get it out.

Upon arrival we found a mid 40's female talking to the deputy. He advised that she thinks she is radioactive and needs to be checked. After talking to her and she is A/O x 4, no ETOH on board, I ask her why she thinks she is radioactive. At which time she tells me something about the rotation of the earth and the planetary alignment is causing her to be radioactive. At this time I tell my rookie partner to follow me to the ambulance. So he did, I retrieved the necessary tools to fix this problem. I stuck a pediatric electrode, you know the ones with cute little teddy bears on them, in the middle of her forehead and told her it was a geigercounter, the lastest thing out to detect radiactivity. She needed to wear it for 24 hours, if it turned green to call EMS or go to the ER, if not she could just remove it, she was not radioactive. So I then left her in the care of the deputy, who was laughing so hard he about 'pizzed' himself. All he could say was he needed a job like ours. So I checked 10-8 EMS not needed and went back to the station and kicked my feet up with the remote in hand. Now that's EMS at its best.
Click to expand...

That was a great story.. LMAO... I LOVED IT!!!!!:D :D :D :D
 
Fedmedic said:
I stuck a pediatric electrode, you know the ones with cute little teddy bears on them, in the middle of her forehead and told her it was a geigercounter, the lastest thing out to detect radiactivity. She needed to wear it for 24 hours, if it turned green to call EMS or go to the ER, if not she could just remove it, she was not radioactive.
Click to expand...

Borrowing a page from Bringing Out The Dead, eh?
 
yowzer said:
Borrowing a page from Bringing Out The Dead, eh?
Click to expand...

Actually, I had a 101 uses for electrodes before I ever watched bringing out the dead. Yeah, I'm afraid I have been doing it that long. Also, if you take the old Motorola Minitor pagers and hold the squelch button and scan your patient, they make excellent "Star Trek" style scanners and tell you everything that is wrong with your patient; at least that is what they think...bet you didn't see that in bringing out the dead. Or if you take their medicaid cards and scan them in your radio box mounted on the wall in the back of your ambulance it will tell you that they have already had their limit on ambulance calls for the month....something to think about.
 
First post

Fedmedic said:
I stuck a pediatric electrode, you know the ones with cute little teddy bears on them, in the middle of her forehead and told her it was a geigercounter, the lastest thing out to detect radiactivity. She needed to wear it for 24 hours, if it turned green to call EMS or go to the ER, if not she could just remove it, she was not radioactive.
Click to expand...

I seriously just laughed out loud reading that. I wonder if she actually walked around with it on her forehead for 24 hours...
 
Fedmedic said:
Actually, I had a 101 uses for electrodes before I ever watched bringing out the dead. Yeah, I'm afraid I have been doing it that long. Also, if you take the old Motorola Minitor pagers and hold the squelch button and scan your patient, they make excellent "Star Trek" style scanners and tell you everything that is wrong with your patient; at least that is what they think...bet you didn't see that in bringing out the dead. Or if you take their medicaid cards and scan them in your radio box mounted on the wall in the back of your ambulance it will tell you that they have already had their limit on ambulance calls for the month....something to think about.
Click to expand...

I thought I was going to need EMS myself from laughing so hard making my chest hurt when I read this one and the other one about the radioactive patient! Those are original! Hey... are you still planning to write your book? I think it would be so entertaining!!! You are just too cool, for a flunkie!!! lol The funny thing is... because I know you, I can actually see you doing these things and it makes it that much more funny!

I'm gonna used the one with the card! If I can get through it without laughing myself to death! Oh, and I know just the patient! One of our frequent flyers. If he were flying on American, he could go anywhere in the world free by now! LOL Very good post!
 
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"Mr. Trumpet"

I have a partner that wants me dead because of a particular patient. (Ok, not really, but boy was she mad!)

We were contracted to work at an annual event that runs for about 8 weeks, weekends only. There's a tool shed like hut that we occupy for a medic booth. On Day #1 of the event, we needed to do a few minor repairs to the hut, so I went off in search of a phillips screwdriver bit for the DeWalt drill. I remembered seeing this handyman looking dude working halfway across the event site, so I went over and asked him if I could borrow a bit. He loaned me the bit, but also followed me back to the hut, talking about how he was this amazing trumpet player. We got back to the hut and I used the bit for what I needed to. In the meantime, he started talking to my partner. She was politely listening and nodding and agreeing with the guy. I go to give him the drill bit back and he's still talking! He's talking to my partner about his hands. He's talking about how he's also an amazing carpenter and handyman and can fix anything, so his hands are rough because of it. My partner is talking back to him about hand care tips. Then he walks into the hut, sits on the bed, and asks us (since we're medical professionals, of course) to take a look at some bumps on his ankles.
He exposes his ankles by dropping his pants. My partner looked at me and I recognized "the look" - the look that says "I am going to murder you sometime today." All I could do was shrug and quietly say "I'm sorry!"
Our Pant Dropping Friend continues to talk about his ankles. He has a couple mosquito bites. I'm at a loss for words. Neither of us know what to say, and this guy is STILL TALKING. And he won't STOP TALKING. By now, my partner is thinking of ways to kill me. He's telling her what a goddess she is. She says thanks.
I finally come up with a way to get him out of the medic hut - the drill bit! I tell him that I'm done with the bit and will walk him back to where he came from. My partner growls at me as I walk away, following this handyman dude back to the booth that he came from. The dwellers of his booth were equally bizarre, but friendly. Fortunately, not *that* friendly.
I got back to the medic hut and all I could say was "Oh man, I had no idea he was going to follow me back here like that!" My partner says something like "Next time we just drive to Home Depot!"
I never thought he'd leave. Apparently he stopped by on a following day when I was out somewhere, and one of the Sheriff deputies shooed him away after he babbled on about The Evil Government and Evil Hospital Corporations for 10 minutes. He put his hand on his taser and said "I think it's time for you to go now, amigo."
It worked.

My partner threatened to send me a picture of the guy as a Christmas card. heh.
 
So Mr. Handyman wanted to "blow his horn"!!:P :P :P
 
My wife had a pt that saw gremlins on the ceiling. She pulled out her "Gremlin Spray" (lemon scented sanitizer), a couple of sprays, and presto... Also works on spiders, white elephants, etc...
 
What no pink elephants!!:P ^_^ :P
 
lactose intolerante

alright guys at first I wasnt gonna share this story but its to great not to be told. This is a true story about a friend of mine. Shes lactose intolerante and earlier in the day had gotten some kind of coffee drink unawares that it had milk in it. Later that night like 1 or 2 in the morning she goes on a call. Drunk guy drove into a telephone pole in nearby downtown small town. but the guy had wandered off and they couldnt find him right away. spent like 45 mins on the scene tryin to locate this guy. They finally find him and he bleeding from the head and blah blah blah. they LSB and C-collar the guy get him loaded up and around here closest hosp. is 20 min ride. so they are enroute to hosp. and her gut just flips over on her. She's like oh god. cuz she knows shes gonna be sick and it aint gonna wait. Since we are rural ambulance we normally run with three people. So anyway they are driving down the road and she looks at her other partner in the back and is like i'm gonna have diarrhea like right now. so she grabs the garbage can and climbs down by the side door. so she basically out of site of the other person in back the driver and the pt. she drops her pants and has diarrhea right there in the back of the bus. the driver is eventually like oh god whats that smell? and she like its me i'm so sorry. he's like oh no problem and rolls down the window. the pt is so drunk he is oblivious to whats goin on and stuff. but they finally get to hosp. and she is of course like i have to go to the bathroom and the other two people are like yeah sure whatever you need. so she goes off to the bathroom and the other two take take of the pt and cleaning up the truck. When she gets to the bathroom she realizes that shes been more than a little messy and has some on her pants and shoes. so she tries to clean it up as best she can. when she comes out of the bathroom and is walkin back to the truck she see this nurse wipin up these tracks most of the way to the bathroom. the nurse is like well someone tracked mud all over the ER. my friend is like ummm yeah... does her damnedest to keep a straight face and walked out. it was a long time before this story made it around our little place of work. she was the one to start telling people. the other 2 people on this call never said a word until she did. and now she no longer cares and tells basically everyone about it but it goes to show you the graciousness and and support of the EMS family in general. there are a ton of funny things that happen around here but this takes the hat by far.
 
MUD ON THE FLOOR ! hahahahahahahaha oh man funny !
 
4am call to the residence of a known diabetic. Me and my partner knew this guy and his episodes and it was never really too bad before this one call. We get there and as soon as we walk in the door i was thrown back by the smell. It was aweful. The Pts daughter is there and shows us to his room and MY GOD was it ever horrible. My jaw just drops when i look around and see the the Pt has defecated everywhere. And when I say everywhere? I mean it. It was on the walls, the ceiling the floor, the closet... everywhere.

Of course, we sheet drag him onto the stretcher and I'm gagging the whole way out until we get on car. I'm in the back with him getting a Hx when I could handle it anymore. I open up the back on the bus and threw up all over the highway. Ugh.

Felt better though. After that I pretty much held a tube of oral glucose over his mouth and poored it down his throat.

Wasn't a good day for me
 
wow ! how the heck did he get it on the ceiling ? gross. don't worry id probably lose my lunch also thats just gross but a nessesary evil in our business.
 
Mercy4Angels said:
wow ! how the heck did he get it on the ceiling ? gross. don't worry id probably lose my lunch also thats just gross but a nessesary evil in our business.
Click to expand...

You know, my partner leaned over and asked me the same thing..I was horrified.


He was severely diabetic... he had diabetic feet and wore adult diapers. Its wasn't a pretty site. That wasn't the grossest thing though. I'm sure everyone knows how aweful oral glucose tastes but this guy... man he must have down 3 of our tubes...

If I had more to throw up I would have...
 
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