I hate my partner

Discussion in 'EMS Talk' started by WDA, May 31, 2010.

  1. WDA

    WDA New Member

    EMS Training:
    EMT-Basic
    I only did this to become a PA. It's just for a year, maybe less if I become a CNA or LVN, but as I slog through each day, spending more energy fending off frustration than just thinking about medical issues, it feels like a prison sentence.

    And it really occurred to me when I was talking to my patient in the ER while we waited to be admitted. As I learned more about my patient's medical history, I felt for once like an EMT. But instead of talking about medicine with my partner, I have to put up with his trying to be cool and loud hip hop music between calls. How can one be cool walking the patient to the dialysis center? (I can't describe it!)

    How do I describe the priorities of a 20-year-old? It isn't to be a better EMT: why would I need to get better if I'm already the BEST? It isn't to "expedite" or be efficient: that'll detract from my swagger! It isn't to talk about medicine: that'll only show that I don't know anything! It isn't to work cooperatively, as a single unit, to achieve impeccable patient care and professionalism: I'm better than you and I'll show it by ordering you around and telling you to do the obvious in front of my peers, and I'll let you fail because it makes me look better AND feel superior!
  2. Linuss

    Linuss New Member

    Location:
    DFW
    Is your partner a medic or another EMT?


    You won't always find people in our field who care about the medicine... infact the people you see here on the forum who actually care about EMS are a minority in our field. Not much you can do to change their view of this only being a paycheck, dialysis transport or not.


    I'm content with my partner. I'm 21 and a medic, he's 20 and halfway through medic school. Granted he'd rather drive and leave the actual patient care to me, I don't mind it much since I still need the experience, but I'm slowly breaking him in to my style of how I'd like a partner (be it an EMT or another medic), we actually have a bit in common and get well decent enough.



    If you find that partner that you get along with though, it's great, and makes the shifts all that much better. Now to get a hot female EMT partner who needs help with.. um... anything really... like chest lead placement. Yeah... that's it...
    Last edited by a moderator: May 31, 2010
  3. WDA

    WDA New Member

    EMS Training:
    EMT-Basic
    He's an EMT also.

    I think you're right. For an entry-level job, the EMT profession casts a wide net and takes both the eager and motivated as well as the apathetic. And the more you move up, becoming specialized, say as a nurse, PA, or doctor, then you'll increasingly find similar minds.

    I don't expect (or even want) my partner to talk about medicine all the time, because that's not even the issue for me. It's that seeming dictate to be cool that overrides courtesy and professionalism, cooperation and teamwork.

    I know what it is (after reading the "rude partners" thread): ego. It's just ego. Men seem to have more of it than women. It's how people choose to deal with their insecurities: either we mask it with behavior (rudeness, coolness, superiority) that immunizes us from the unpredictability of relationships, or we address it with assurance by working together to form a solid ground we all can stand on. Some (most?) people just aren't willing to give up the land they're standing on to find common purpose.
    Last edited by a moderator: May 31, 2010
  4. Aprz

    Aprz Active Member

    Location:
    California
    Not gonna lie, but you sound like a hater... I pretty much read this:

    I don't think you can differentiate between acting and being yourself, and I would put money that he doesn't talk to you about medicine because you're being hard core.

    Maybe you can elaborate more on why your partner is terrible, but at this point, you took one aspect of him that's really a preference, and then you gave him a bunch of negative qualities/characteristics because of that one aspect making it sound like he had multiple bad qualities/characteristics.
  5. MusicMedic

    MusicMedic New Member

    Location:
    Orange County, CA
    EMS Training:
    EMT-Basic
    Yeah there are quite a few of those EMT's (ones that WDA described) at my Current job, i feel your pain, burned out emt's who refuse (or are too lazy) to further their education. as well as automatically thinking they are Superior since they have worked longer in the field. I had one partner tell me "why are you gonna go to Medic school?, your only gonna make a few dollars more working as a Medic"

    its that mentally of not wanting to further the knowledge thats really dangerous in our field.

    It seems like all the Smart EMT's are going to Paramedic,PA,Nursing, Med school, etc. to further their education

    P.s: One of my best partners was a hot chick EMT, who was pretty darn intelligent and also a tele tech, and would constantly teach me new things. I really miss working with her!!! (she is also working on going to PA school)


    Knowlege is power folks
  6. Aprz

    Aprz Active Member

    Location:
    California
    How do we on the forum know that he doesn't want to learn more? All we got on him right now is he listens to hip hop in between calls and this supposedly means: he doesn't want to learn more, he doesn't like medicine, he doesn't care, he thinks he is the best, etc... I want to hear more on why he's so bad before we start making more conclusions. What has he done that has given you this message?
    Last edited by a moderator: May 31, 2010
  7. MusicMedic

    MusicMedic New Member

    Location:
    Orange County, CA
    EMS Training:
    EMT-Basic
    im not saying that this partner is like that, but i have partners in my company that i have worked with that are like the OP and I have described. i should have made that more clear i apologize
  8. firetender

    firetender Active Member

    Location:
    Maui, HI
    EMS Training:
    EMT-Paramedic
    Partnership is about Chemistry

    That's all there is to it and that takes a little time to figure out with each person. You may start trusting someone right off the bat only to find you were mistaken.

    Some partners you just can't get into sync with. Period. If he's working with someone else, all the stuff that jumps down your throat may not even surface. It usually takes a period of adjustment until you figure out what you can live with and what you WON'T, and the bottom line is patient care.

    You have the right to impose upon your partner to provide quality patient care. You DO have be clear about whose standards you are BOTH committing to follow.

    Beyond the working environment, you limit the psychic energy you invest in your partner to what feels comfortable to you and no more. You have control over where your emotional energy goes as well.
  9. mycrofft

    mycrofft Still crazy but elsewhere

    Location:
    Central California
    DINGDINGDINGDINGDING..Music Medic Wins The Trophy!

    Heck yeah EMT's tend to go for higher certifications and degrees! Better pay, less physical stress, better benefits, more job security if you follow the wider range of opportunities available. Also, tends (not guarantees) to have more maturity than entry level technical position.

    Relax a little more, don't be driven to learn and do all the time. Put that drive into studying and maybe just reading about what you are interested in. It will mkae you easier to be around too.

    PS: Clashes of personal styles can get to be like a pebble in your shoe. Talk to your boss about it.
    PPS: Maybe you drew this one from the pile because you are the new person?
    PPPS: Maybe your co-worker is trying to impress you in a sort of third grade manner?
    PPPPS: From your comment about male versus female ego, I take it you are a female and have not worked for females much. Wait til you run into some of the females egos in female dominated areas like nursing. Or the chairperson's office of Hewlett Packard, or EBay.;) A guy will swagger and act all macho, a woman will have someone else cut you off at the knees. (Fairer sex, indeed!:ph34r:)).
  10. WDA

    WDA New Member

    EMS Training:
    EMT-Basic
    HIP HOP DOESN'T HELP, not the plainly stupid hip hop that talks relentlessly about sex, texting with a cell phone, becoming a billionaire, or is preoccupied pre-pubescently with parts of the female human anatomy. Call me old-fashioned. :rolleyes:

    It's not that he doesn't talk medicine. That was just the thing that made me realize...

    That I spend an inordinate amount of time bearing his rudeness and the little things he does that tells me he doesn't care about working as a team or coming to an understanding with me, instead of spending that time BEING AN EMT.

    Yes, it's his personality, and mine. But when we're working, albeit stuck to each other for 8-12 hours each day, I expect we can connect AT LEAST as EMTs, professionally, covering each other's behind, communicating, etc. Hallmarks of a team. There isn't any of that.

    His job isn't a job for him. For him, it seems, there's no difference between on-time and off-time. There is no standard to follow, no courtesy to give; he says so himself: he will not say please, or thank you. He will not ask, request; he'll order, instruct. The standard is himself. He's an EMT for himself.

    I can't police courtesy, demand kindness. That's like yelling in a movie theatre for people to be quiet. So I have to deal with it, and it can get to be too much to be wary everyday that he's going to let go of the gurney to sanitize his hands and not tell me, and then blame me for rushing. (????)

    I don't know if you've ever met anyone like that. Maybe that's to be expected working for a third-rate ambulance company that gives no job training, doesn't expect you to change sheets with every patient, adjusts your hours on your timecards come payday, and has designated drivers because every attendant has DL problems.
  11. rescue99

    rescue99 New Member

    Location:
    Michigan
    If my partner even tried to walk a sick patient into a facility against everything he knows is decent and right (not to mention protocol and policy), he'd do it once. We'd talk about multiple reasons why it is not appropriate. We'd talk about what is and is not acceptable and we'd talk about an impression he presents which leads others to think he lacks care or concern for the very adult occupation he's chosen. I'd do this one time then I'd take action. Tough if he doesn't like it. He does not have to like anything about his job.....as long as he does it somplace else! Being 20 does not give anyone the right to disrespect or mistreat a sick patient and he sure doesn't have the right to create uncollectable bills which then affects all of us working.
  12. dudemanguy

    dudemanguy New Member

    EMS Training:
    EMT-Basic
    Annoying and idiotic coworkers are an unfortunate part of life regardless of the field, if its an entry level position. Higher education standards would help weed many of them out.

    Part of it is also location, I wont live in or work in the city or suburbs in part because I prefer not to deal with people like this. I was stationed in southern cali when I was in the military, and I swear I could count on one hand the civilians under the age of 24 I encountered with an ounce of common sense or maturity. I couldnt imagine working there as an EMT.

    Like EMT CNA is entry level too, but its such hard unpleasant work that the lazy immature idiots usually dont last long. With EMS, until you get to the paramedic level, where real responsibility and education is required, you still might have to deal with the lazy immature kids.
    Last edited by a moderator: May 31, 2010
  13. rescue99

    rescue99 New Member

    Location:
    Michigan
  14. Sasha

    Sasha New Member

    Would you be less infuriated if it were, say, classical music?? A few things sound like they're going on here, one, you don't like your job... period. I suppose you are probably IFT and don't realize the amazing opprotunities IFT affords you.. Two, because you don't like this guy's taste in music there's a sour taste in your mouth, and you notice little personality things that annoy you.

    Texting doesn't mean he doesn't want to learn. I'm a textaholic. And I've even used my phone while in the back with a patient, many times I'm googling something that I've never heard of before, or asking my smarty pants friends what such and such is or what it does etc.

    As for talking about things other than medicine, it's called down time, and yes, we all need down time on the job. I work hard... I LOVE medicine, it's my passion, any of my partners will tell you that I find it incredibly interesting, yet that's not all we talk about. And I'll be honest here, I've talked about the really amazing butt of one of my coworkers to my partner, and how I wouldn't mind doing a trauma assesment on him. If my partner had an issue about what we are talking about, I'd hope instead of crucifying me on a forum she'd come and say "Hey, I don't want to talk about this... Can we talk about that instead?"

    It also sounds like a lack of communication. And quite honestly, not all patients need a stretcher. An ambulatory patient going to dialysis?? Ambulate 'em. Saves your back. BTW, if they are ambulatory or able to sit in a chair, and you call them bed confined in your report, you may be doing something called fraud, which can cost you your license and ability to hold a medical license, period.
  15. Sasha

    Sasha New Member

  16. rescue99

    rescue99 New Member

    Location:
    Michigan
  17. paradoqs

    paradoqs New Member

    Location:
    Boulder, CO
    Have you tried talking to your partner about these things. If you can do that in a way that doesnt put him on the defensive, he might be receptive to feed back. Life any relationship, without communication nothing will get fixed. If you cant communicate with each other, you should ask for another partner. On a second note, I wish I lived where you did. Where I live its hard to get an EMT job.
  18. dudemanguy

    dudemanguy New Member

    EMS Training:
    EMT-Basic
    Theres nothing wrong with listening to hip hop. But subjecting coworkers to it who dont like it is just wrong, and should be illegal. Some of us have developed an allergic reaction to it, and may experience feelings of nausea and a rise in blood pressure when subjected to it for long periods, so its also a health issue.
  19. medicRob

    medicRob New Member

    Location:
    Nashville, TN
    Talk things out with your partner. If this doesn't work, go to your shift supervisor with your concerns.

    As for individuals with higher degrees, take it from me--there are idiots in every profession. Just because someone has a degree, this doesn't mean they have "common sense". Focus on your career and being the best medical provider that you can be. If the individual's actions start affecting the level of patient care provided that is the time to go to your supervisor.

    I will warn you though, if you do have cause to go to your supervisor--make sure you have something more than, "Oh I just dont like him"... Some will eat you alive if it is not a legitimate complaint.
    Last edited by a moderator: May 31, 2010
  20. MonkeySquasher

    MonkeySquasher New Member

    Location:
    Upstate NY
    Yes and no. Maybe they need O2 and local wheelchair vans can't do that. Maybe they have a bag of NS hanging. Maybe it's policy from the sending facility, or maybe they just have an agreement with the IFT company. At my company, whether or not they're ambulatory, we're supposed to use the stretcher, because if they fall it's our butt on the grille for it.

    At my volly company, I can say that yes, there are some people I don't see eye-to-eye with. One of them happens to be our only resident Medic, instructor, and assistant Chief. Mainly because I've watched him violate protocols and kill people. But that's a whole 'nother story.

    At my work, I've only had a couple long-term partners, and only one that I could honestly relate to your plight. And in that instance, I can see where you're coming from. When I think of classic examples of what was wrong with her, many times it would come down to her being "dumb" or sheer vanity, and her not taking her job seriously. I could explain if anyone likes, but I'm too tired to post stories right now.

    First, take a breather. Take a shift or two to just coast with him. Talk about what he wants to talk about. Go at the pace he wants to go at. Just try to make friends, or show a bit of trying to see his way of doing things. Then, if nothing corrects, try showing how YOU would like to done. Trry to talk to him.. Tell him you care about your patients, you like EMS, and how the patient/public views you is important to you. You don't care if he wants to blast music, text his buddies, or talk about T&A.. But when you're on a call, he's also representing you, your company, and all EMS personnel to that person. Being professional makes EVERYONE win.

    If that doesn't change, start calling him out on things. When he tries to act smart about something, ask a question about it that he'd have problems answering. When with a patient, correct him on things. Embarrass him. Then point out later, privately, that it's not a nice thing to do to your partner. Show him that you'll have his back, but you have to know that he has yours. And it's not a matter of you two being "ZOMG BESTEST BUDS", but when you both wear the same uniform you have to work together. Doesn't mean you have to share beers off the clock.

    If nothing changes, or things get worse (or if you ever find it compromising patient care), see a supervisor and see if something can be done, either with a supervisor as mediator or a complete change of partners. But be sure to walk in with a clear list of things you've tried, and times of when you two have conflicted with no clear resolution. Show that there's a definite impasse that nothing can get around.

    In my case, nothing worked.. If I was trying to help, I was "pushy". If I let her do her thing, I was "lazy". I eventually left the shift because it conflicted with a class I was taking, which was better for all involved. I will say though, as I don't know your situation, I actually liked my partner as a person. I think we could have actually been friends outside of work... But we just had two VERY different views of how to perform EMS and what our job is.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 1, 2010

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