Do I tell The Boss?

[Robby1974]

Imho

Well as a person who has had experience in the Human resourses world I can tell you without hesitation that she had NO right to touch you in any way. I also agree with the other posts in that there is definately something wrong with her telling you NOT to go to superiors. It's battery pure and simple. People have lost their jobs for far less than that. In fact I had a supervisor do the exact thing you described to one of my co-workers (grabbed her by the arm). The next day my supervisor's desk was empty. She had been fired without hesitation after 20+ years of being with the company. My advice...doing nothing enables her to do it again to you or someone else. If it happens again and you report it at that time but don't report it now then you have nothing to establish a pattern. They will also wonder why you didn't come forward the first time. Additionally, I don't see anything overtly offensive with the joke, it really wasn't that bad. Even if it had been a far more offensive joke it would still not give her an excuse to touch you. Nothing may come of your report this time if you don't have evidence or a witness but at least you will have a report on file should anything similar happen again. Good luck!

 

[BossyCow]

There's an old saying that is traditionally used to describe marriage but I think applies in this situation... "You can be right, or you can be happy!" In this case, being 'right' doesn't make things easier or more clear. You are obviously right that she had no right to cause you physical harm, or even to place her hands upon you.

Now, what is the end result that you want? You have to get clear on that before you determine a course of action. If your primary goal is to have her reprimanded, humiliated and punished for her error, you need to remember that both participants in a mud slinging contest end up with their hands dirty. If your goal is to return your personnel record to its previously untarnished state, there are options for that. In most cases, a letter in your file, takes several possible forms. It can be a written record of a verbal reprimand, which is generally given a period of time before the document is removed. This is usually defined in the employee manual. (You remember the employee manual, that document you never read)

If its a formal written reprimand, you need to find out how progressive discipline is defined (in the employee manual again) and where the letter fits into the progression. There should also be a process defined for the employee to address a written reprimand, generally allowing for a face to face with the supervisor who put the document in your file, allowing for your input on the event. In some cases you can actually write a denial or explanation of your perception of the event which becomes part of the record with the initial letter.

So, put aside your indignation over her lack of professionalism, maturity and plain common sense and act like a grownup. If you start out just being angry, anyone you talk to about the issue is going to hear your anger, and not your facts. Check out your options. Getting mad at her for the way she reacted over something you did that was wrong, is just going to make you look immature.

 

[rjz]

Well said bossy cow....

 

[bstone]

Perhaps you should document this and hand it to the chief of police. He will have a duty to investigate a reported crime. In the end the reprimand should be removed and an apologies given, along with a good cry and a hug.

 

[EMERG2011]

Perhaps you should document this and hand it to the chief of police. He will have a duty to investigate a reported crime. In the end the reprimand should be removed and an apologies given, along with a good cry and a hug.

Hahaha, I'm not the type that cries much (maybe twice in the past year?), nor do I hug you, unless you're my lover, my best friend, or my mama. Considering that she's none of the above, I highly doubt there will be any hugging goin on anytime soon, nor will there be the impulsive watching of lifetime, eating hagen-daaz, and crying for no apparent reason.

In all seriousness - I talked to the boss this Sunday. While he does agree that I was a bit of an idiot telling that joke in front of the important people, he says that the PR rep got the message loud and clear that she was never to touch me again. He said that I was within my rights to go to the University Police and file an official grievance with her, but he said that it was my decision, even though he hoped that I would keep it all in the family. I think its over, but if it rears its ugly head, I'll let yall know. Thanks for all the advice!

 

[firemedic7982]

IMHO...

A couple things to keep in mind. 1. I personally didnt find the joke offensive, but I've been at this game for a while, not much ruffles my feathers. 2. Be that as it may, I wouldnt have told the joke. 3. However silly the joke may have been, Her actions were way beyond out of line. I ( being a bit of a hot head) would have gone into her office, and probably wouldnt have stopped talking until she was in tears. 4. Remember , it's a student orginazation... shes not ruining your livleyhood.

Im gonna have to agree with your boss on this one. While what she did was deserving of a grade A *** whoopin; now would not be the time to file charges. Let it go, and just kill her with your professionalism, and make sure you do everything to remind people of how valuable of an employee you are.

My second suggestion. If she is abusing her pseudo position like this, or seems to be single-ing you out, you need to document these occurances. It's just like patient documentation. If it's not documented...It didnt happen.

I'm not familiar with Virginia law, But in Texas not only could she be charged with assault, could; most likley would lose her EMS cert.

 

[Short Bus]

Yeah, you should lay it to her.

 

[Jon]

Ok... I just realized that you'd posted the joke already. I can see how the PR person might not have liked it - but I have to admit you have a point!

I'm not sure how big your school is... I vollie with the town's ambulance service, and the local state university is in my first due. We joke with the university PD a lot... and have a good relationship with them. That said, I'm not sure I'd have said that in front of the CHIEF.

I'm glad to hear the situation is resolved... good luck!

 

[TheMowingMonk]

Yeah, I think its good you talked to your supervisor, her response was totally inappropriate for the joke you told. I'm on my Universities EMS squad and we do have rules of conduct, being professional would be against your joke (even though i think its a good joke, one college EMT to another) but her reaction went above and way beyond what would be considered a proper discipline, physical force is never acceptable. Good job talking to you supervisor, given the situation you did the right thing in the long run. At least in my opinion

 

[zippyRN]

1. That was a battery, hands-on is a no-no.

more than a battery if it broke the skin, try 'wounding' , 'actual bodily harm ' etc etc etc... differnet places have different names for it ...

2. The first thing a bully does is tell you not to tell anyone else.

yep i'd agree there

3. Cite date, time, place, witnesses in your report to Personnel (not her dept), CC to your union rep (if any). Save a copy of all materials to go to yor state's equiv of Equal Employment Opportunity office or whomever handles workplace violence.LEave out any other consideratikon, just about being grabbed and ordered not to tell anyone else. Use the words "Hostile work environment".

HR and union rep probably not relevent given it's a college campus group , to the OP is this all volunteer and are both parties students ?

You may or may not have had the reprimand coming, but the hands on and bullying tactics ("keep this quiet") is inappropriate. If you let a bully shut you up, he/she will ride you into the ground, and if not you, then some other target.

personally i don't think the joke / remark was that off colour unless it was in front of the 'public at large' vs staff and other students ....

this kind of situation is incredibily common in Student related stuff, some peopel take student socieities far too seriously , others get power crazed ...

i had a similar though not so dramtic problem when i was student with a committee member of the LINKS unit (SJA unit attached to a university also a student's union society) the committee member was in a 'student society' post ( society secretary or somesuch) and was a very newly qualified first aider ... I at that point was Ambulance crew and a final year student nurse ... and had been involved with SJA for a long time before coming to uni ) it had to be repeatedly pointed out to her that a society secretary she wasn't a line mansager from either organisation's point of view and as both Ambulance Crew and a student Health Care Professional i had clinical primacy unless there was a qualified HCPpresent.

 

[Tiberius]

I've told jokes far, far worse than that. Also, I make it a practice to refrain from telling jokes of that nature in that kind of setting (superiors, etc) because I want to stay VERY far away from the political side of our industry. I usually yuk it up with just my fellow co-workers. I've practiced this this for my entire career and have maintained a good reputation and kept out of trouble. Plus, if I have to make a complaint, I am listened to and business gets handled. As one poster said: EMS is a small community. If you raise the ire of the wrong person, it is possible that you'll be blackballed.

Having said that, you should have pushed this "administrator" as far as possible. She says "Don't tell anyone"? I would have told and pushed for her dismissal and removal of the reprimand or charges and civil actions would have been filed. That would be horrible PR. No one wants that. Juvenile bully tactics and assault are ridiculous. This is why I follow my guidelines mentioned in the above paragraph.

 

[IrishEMT]

I know this is going to go against everything everyone else has said, but I say let it drop.

You already spoke to her superior, there's no need to take it further as long as her behavior stops.

You're a campus squad, which means you are just as much a social organization as you are a professional one. Which, unfortunately, means that social grudges may come out at work because campus squads have extreme difficulty separating our professional lives from our personal ones.

You might just have to bite the bullet on this one. Tell all your friends what happened, but maybe not file an official police complaint. Once you do, rest assured that everyone that she's friends with will know about it, and will probably side with her out of loyalty.

Campus and actual volly EMS are different animals.

 

[BossyCow]

I know this is going to go against everything everyone else has said, but I say let it drop.

You already spoke to her superior, there's no need to take it further as long as her behavior stops.

You're a campus squad, which means you are just as much a social organization as you are a professional one. Which, unfortunately, means that social grudges may come out at work because campus squads have extreme difficulty separating our professional lives from our personal ones.

You might just have to bite the bullet on this one. Tell all your friends what happened, but maybe not file an official police complaint. Once you do, rest assured that everyone that she's friends with will know about it, and will probably side with her out of loyalty.

Campus and actual volly EMS are different animals.

Wow.. so you are saying he should like be all mature and act like a grownup???

 

[EMERG2011]

I know this is going to go against everything everyone else has said, but I say let it drop.

You already spoke to her superior, there's no need to take it further as long as her behavior stops.

You're a campus squad, which means you are just as much a social organization as you are a professional one. Which, unfortunately, means that social grudges may come out at work because campus squads have extreme difficulty separating our professional lives from our personal ones.

You might just have to bite the bullet on this one. Tell all your friends what happened, but maybe not file an official police complaint. Once you do, rest assured that everyone that she's friends with will know about it, and will probably side with her out of loyalty.

Campus and actual volly EMS are different animals.

Whoa, whoa whoa yall - I'm letting it die. Right now this issue is a total DNR in my mind, if it rears its ugly head again, then it did so of its own volition, but until then, I'm not going to do anything to keep it alive.

 

[Scout]

Document it in writting and log every interation where you have an encouter( well any that could have an impact) with this person.

Keep it quite. You are then in a possition to go on the offencive big time if she continues and by then you will be off probationary, have set up a peir support eith your co wokers and will have been let in on gossip.


Let things lye now but be prepaired