EMSGhost2
Forum Ride Along
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Have you ever doubted yourself before? lost some of your self-respect? I had an interaction with a fireman back in 2012 that ruined me.
I used to walk down to this one coffee shop in downtown Long Beach. It took me forever from where I lived to walk there, but hey it builds character, right? Still getting acclimated to the healthy smog and oppressive sunlight, this coffee shop was where I would go and look for my calling-- and by looking I mean swimming in the open sea of Craigslist without a life vest. I was sitting in the outside seating behind the coffee shop drowning in my computer one afternoon when out comes some of Long Beach's Fire Fighters.
Look, I've been a fireman since I was four years old. Mom was an emt and I spent a lot of my youth in the firehouse with the First Responders family. I grew up in a small town in Vermont where it was just a church pew / barstool type of place. You know, all those little towns you see on the Hallmark channel-- Yeah, like those. This instilled in me certain types of values. Be kind to one another, be encouraging, be helpful and look out for you neighbor.
Fireman have always been the ones who I would look up to as a kid, you know?. But this day at the coffee shop changed everything... They started walking away from the tables when I mustered up the strength to get up and walk over to talk to them. I take out my headphones, push out my chair and approach the closest guy. Fully of piss and vinegar I get his attention and ask him how would I start getting into the fire department field here in CA. I told him that I moved here not too long ago blah blah blah. He looked me up and down like he was sizing me up, judging me with an ever-so pretentious demeanor and said "let me stop you there. Don't waste your time Kid". Walked away laughing and shaking his head. My world was ruined. Absolutely ruined.
I lost all hope and self respect for myself that day. The people I looked up to, the people who I idolized, informed me that I was not good enough. Not good enough to be the man I knew I was, or at the time, I thought I was.
The years go by as I try to find out where I belong in the world. I tried moving around, but nothing filled the hole I lost that day. Until I went to this conference where I met an EMT instructor. We drank and talked shop for hours and I tell him my pity party story. It was that moment I knew I was not going to let this fireman haunt me, but be my carrot on a string. This was the moment I forgave him and regained my lost sense of pride. This was the moment I started believing in myself again.
Fast-forward--
I just passed all of my EMT requirements here in California and well on my way to becoming the greatest First Responder you will ever meet. I promise to be better than him. I promise to be the ideal representation of a fire fighter and the house I belong to. I promise to not break down the members of my community, but instead fill their heads and hearts with positivity, determination, and the notion that if they give it their all then nothing will stop them. I promise to be the roll model to all in need of one. And I Promise to Never Give Up.
Thanks for giving my story a read.
I'll be participating as much I can and will be posting about my experiences.
- The EMSGhost
I used to walk down to this one coffee shop in downtown Long Beach. It took me forever from where I lived to walk there, but hey it builds character, right? Still getting acclimated to the healthy smog and oppressive sunlight, this coffee shop was where I would go and look for my calling-- and by looking I mean swimming in the open sea of Craigslist without a life vest. I was sitting in the outside seating behind the coffee shop drowning in my computer one afternoon when out comes some of Long Beach's Fire Fighters.
Look, I've been a fireman since I was four years old. Mom was an emt and I spent a lot of my youth in the firehouse with the First Responders family. I grew up in a small town in Vermont where it was just a church pew / barstool type of place. You know, all those little towns you see on the Hallmark channel-- Yeah, like those. This instilled in me certain types of values. Be kind to one another, be encouraging, be helpful and look out for you neighbor.
Fireman have always been the ones who I would look up to as a kid, you know?. But this day at the coffee shop changed everything... They started walking away from the tables when I mustered up the strength to get up and walk over to talk to them. I take out my headphones, push out my chair and approach the closest guy. Fully of piss and vinegar I get his attention and ask him how would I start getting into the fire department field here in CA. I told him that I moved here not too long ago blah blah blah. He looked me up and down like he was sizing me up, judging me with an ever-so pretentious demeanor and said "let me stop you there. Don't waste your time Kid". Walked away laughing and shaking his head. My world was ruined. Absolutely ruined.
I lost all hope and self respect for myself that day. The people I looked up to, the people who I idolized, informed me that I was not good enough. Not good enough to be the man I knew I was, or at the time, I thought I was.
The years go by as I try to find out where I belong in the world. I tried moving around, but nothing filled the hole I lost that day. Until I went to this conference where I met an EMT instructor. We drank and talked shop for hours and I tell him my pity party story. It was that moment I knew I was not going to let this fireman haunt me, but be my carrot on a string. This was the moment I forgave him and regained my lost sense of pride. This was the moment I started believing in myself again.
Fast-forward--
I just passed all of my EMT requirements here in California and well on my way to becoming the greatest First Responder you will ever meet. I promise to be better than him. I promise to be the ideal representation of a fire fighter and the house I belong to. I promise to not break down the members of my community, but instead fill their heads and hearts with positivity, determination, and the notion that if they give it their all then nothing will stop them. I promise to be the roll model to all in need of one. And I Promise to Never Give Up.
Thanks for giving my story a read.
I'll be participating as much I can and will be posting about my experiences.
- The EMSGhost