Work Place Relationships

daemonicusxx

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I’m guessing that this has already been brought up, but it just recently happened to me. I wanna see what you guys think about this.

I started working for a new EMS company about two weeks ago, on my first day I didn’t know that the relationship existed. I found out later that day that one of our F.T.O.’s was dating one of our EMT’s. They are actually engaged.

What do you guy’s thing about the workplace relationship. For me, the problem lies in the supervisor/subservient problem. The girl(friend) does something at work, and the guy (supervisor) has to reprimand her. I do something wrong at work, the supervisor has to reprimand me. Question is, do I get treated the same, or not? How do you think you would handle something like this. I'm really at a loss. The F.T.O. is the one I have to go to with my problems, but what if they are about her? Help me out here.
 

Chimpie

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If the owner/management of the agency is aware of the relationship, then they should understand that you can't go to the FTO with problems dealing with the fiance. They should have an open door policy and allow you to go one step higher if need be with causing to much of a fuss.

As for the reprimanding of the fiance by the FTO, there should not be any different treatment than if the FTO was reprimanding you. If the FTO is a professional then there shouldn't be a problem.

I was a mentor at the place of employment where I met my girlfriend. I also dated a girl or two before meeting her and being a mentor (an FTO for my company) never was an issue because while on the clock I was always professional and helped out everyone equally.
 

40sCutest

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I dated a FF at our volly company for a while and he became the engineer while we were together. It was strange because while I was new to the company I was treated by most people different than other new people because of my boyfriend. Another wierd thing was that people wouldn't tell me what I had done wrong, they would tell him. This created a lot of tension between us... Sometimes I couldn't tell if I had done something wrong or not by the way he'd say it. It was hard at times to say the least.

Needless to say I don't date that FF anymore and don't think I could ever date in our company again. Things between us are awkward, even though we ended fine. Not much drama with it. Still I am apprehensive to tell anyone at my FH about my romantic life out of fear that he would hear about it and be hurt...
 

Jon

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daemonicusxx - I see your problem, and I'm finding myself in a similar situation at one of my part time jobs - The ops manager's daughter is a dispatcher, and her boyfriend is a paratransit / BLS driver. It has become obvious that there is a double standard for both of them, and what disgusts me more is when she (the dispatcher) sends me and my partner to post in a parking lot 5 minutes away from the office (rather than posting at the office - inside watching TV). She and her boyfriend will then "hang out" at the office, with him off the clock.

Needless to say, this is why I'm leaving the job soon.

I don't have a problem with a supervisor / staff member relationship, but the bosses need to know, and the supervisor and their partner shouldn't be in a position of the one answering to the other.

Jon
 

MMiz

I put the M in EMTLife
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It seems as though everyone in EMS dates someone else in EMS or at a hospital. It's just like one big 'ole southern family.

When you spend 12+ hours in an ambulance with someone, I can understand being close and wanting to continue that relationship. I hasn't happened to me, and I can't see it happening, but I always thought it was part of working in EMS. :)
 

Jon

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The reasons I can figure for dating "in the field" are:

1. We limit our associations outside the field, so we don't have to answer "Wow, you must see some messed up stuff" and relive bad calls. Also, we hang out within our culture as CISM when needed.

2. We spend days and days with a partner. I've heard of many relationships that come from male/female partners who hang out after work, then... We also look to the other folks we work with - ED staff, other co's, etc...

3. We keep wierd hours. Having a partner that understands that is a good thing.


Jon
 
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daemonicusxx

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Originally posted by MedicStudentJon@Apr 8 2005, 08:20 AM
The reasons I can figure for dating "in the field" are:

1. We limit our associations outside the field, so we don't have to answer "Wow, you must see some messed up stuff" and relive bad calls. Also, we hang out within our culture as CISM when needed.

2. We spend days and days with a partner. I've heard of many relationships that come from male/female partners who hang out after work, then... We also look to the other folks we work with - ED staff, other co's, etc...

3. We keep wierd hours. Having a partner that understands that is a good thing.


Jon
i agree with you, i think i could find myself attracted to someone in the same field. i think that relationship would work out really well. im just saying that i wouldnt do it with someone on the same shift as me. same company. same ambulance.
 

CodeSurfer

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I have a new boyfriend and he is very skeptical/nervous about me working a night shift sleeping in the same ambulance as a male partner... anyone else ever have this problem?
 

Chimpie

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Originally posted by CodeSurfer@Apr 10 2005, 05:25 PM
I have a new boyfriend and he is very skeptical/nervous about me working a night shift sleeping in the same ambulance as a male partner... anyone else ever have this problem?
Tell him that now is the time to get over that sort of thing or move on because it's something that he is just going to have to get used to. I hate to be that harsh about it but it's the truth.

The only other recommendation I have is to introduce the two and hopefully your b/f will feel better about it.
 

Wingnut

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Originally posted by CodeSurfer@Apr 10 2005, 07:25 PM
I have a new boyfriend and he is very skeptical/nervous about me working a night shift sleeping in the same ambulance as a male partner... anyone else ever have this problem?
My husband isn't real happy about the choice I've made to work in the field, not because of the guys, although he teases me about it, but because of the risks. I just sat him down and we had a long talk about it. He understands a little more because of his job, But I think just keeping those good ole' lines of communication open is the best thing you can do to help your significant other to understand what we're doing. Of course he also knows once I've made up my mind, there's no going back. :lol:
 

SafetyPro2

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I've never had a problem with workplace relationships (never had one myself, but have seen several with co-workers and at the FD). The only problem is when one is a DIRECT supervisor of the other. Most companies I've worked for have had specific policies prohibiting this. At my last job, we had not only one, but two married couples in our department of about 15-20, but neither had any sort of supervisory conflict.

At our FD, we have one married couple, one engaged couple and one father/daughter pair. Both of the couples have the partners on the same crew (the married couple is an Engineer and a FF, and the engaged couple are both FFs). The father/daughter is our Chief (father) and one of the FFs (daughter). Technically, he's not her "direct" supervisor (that's one of the Captains), though of course it is still a supervisory relationship.
 

40sCutest

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I think that the father daughter relationship shouldn't really count in this discussion. In our paid crew we have a Mother/Son crew that sometimes work together and up until recently I hadn't known that they were even related. Further still you can't control your family, wether that means who's in it or what it does.

On the relationship front once again, however, it is convienient. I It's like having someone always with you, who knows everything thats going on with you and doesn't even have to ask. That's the way things get when you spend so much time together...
 

CodeSurfer

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Originally posted by Wingnut@Apr 11 2005, 10:05 AM
My husband isn't real happy about the choice I've made to work in the field, not because of the guys, although he teases me about it, but because of the risks. I just sat him down and we had a long talk about it.
Yeah, I decided to have a talk with him about it and found out he wasnt all too worried about the male partner issue... he has had kind of a phobia of ambulances and sirens etc. since he was in a mva with his mom and she died in front of his eyes. He told me he hates sirens because when he hears it he knows something bad happened. Working through this is going to be hard on both of us...
 

Wingnut

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Originally posted by CodeSurfer@Apr 14 2005, 03:48 PM
Working through this is going to be hard on both of us...
Yes, but worth it in the end. It's hard to do this job when your partner doesn't understand. I wish you the best!
 

TTLWHKR

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I think Resusi-Anne has had her eye on Rescue Randy, so we wheeled their carts next to each other. Someone took off Randy's jumpsuit, and took off Anne's top, so he at least got to first base. As for the rest of the crew, it's all men for the most part, so I sure hope there are no work place relations going on. Yuckers. If there is, I don't wanna know, b/c you never can tell w/ the rookies. Long as the cot has clean sheets... :blink: :wacko:
 

MedicPrincess

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Originally posted by CodeSurfer@Apr 14 2005, 03:48 PM
Working through this is going to be hard on both of us...
Good Luck to you. I hope it all comes out the best for both of you.
 
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