Why men are just Happier People

johnrsemt

Forum Deputy Chief
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NICKNAMES:
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave and John go out; they will call each other Fat Boy, :censored::censored::censored::censored::censored::censored::censored::censored: and S**t for Brains.

EATING OUT:
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in a $20, even though the bill is only $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller or want change.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY:
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item that he needs.
A woman with pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but is on sale

BATHROOM:
A man has six items in his bathroom: Toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, bar of soap and a towel.
A woman has 337 items in their typical bathroom; and a man won't be able to identify more than 20 of them.

ARGUMENTS:
A woman has the last word in any arguement.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new arguement.

FUTURE:
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS:
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE:
A woman marries a man expecting he will change; but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she wont change, but she does.

DRESSING UP:
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, emtpy the trash, answer the phone, read a book and get the mail,
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL:
Men wake up as good looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING:
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments, and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT:
A married man should forget his mistakes. There is no use in two people remember the same thing!
 

Sasha

Forum Chief
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As a woman I kind of find this offensive.
 

firetender

Community Leader Emeritus
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Could be loaded folks, keep it civil. Sasha has a point, keep it respectful, please.
 

exodus

Forum Deputy Chief
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Here you go women:

Why did God make men first and then decide to do the female human?

Because everyone knows that first we experiment and than comes perfection.
 
OP
J

johnrsemt

Forum Deputy Chief
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As being on the humor section; I found it funny; if it offended people; I am sort of sorry. But this is no where near as bad as things people have posted in this section.
 

bigbaldguy

Former medic seven years 911 service in houston
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Offensive? Maybe. I just don't think it's funny, it's supposed to be funny right?
 

Jon

Administrator
Community Leader
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Like many things online, you can't take it too seriously.

I smiled at some, and groaned at others. The bathroom one, for example, is an exaggeration, but more than a little true, in my experience (and I've had several female roommates).
 

BigBird

Forum Ride Along
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truth in advertising

I've been married 25 years this month, we have 3 little people and 6 grand little people. My wife and I have had only one argument in 25 years (once you lose the first one you figure, Whats the point?)
Funny or not.... to me it read like an autobiography :glare:
 

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