what is the funniest thing a patient has ever said or done to u?

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emt for life

Forum Crew Member
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Funniest moments with a patient in the back of the ambulance
 
Anjel

Anjel

Forum Angel
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Happened to one of the people I was partnered with.

She was 88 y/o dementia. My partner about 50 something completely full head of white hair.

She kept grabbing his hand and calling him handsome. He finally had to pull away from her and she yelled

"You never kiss me like you used too!"

I about DFO laughing
 
Lifeguards For Life

Lifeguards For Life

Forum Deputy Chief
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When I was on my paramedic clinicals, I saw a lady who said her daughter was giving her a steroid shot in the butt, and the needle snapped off and "got sucked up into my butt muscle".

She was in the ER for some time, and when I went into her room, she asked me if I would like to see the syringe. I said sure, and she pulled an auto injector out inside a zip lock bag.
 
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shfd739

Forum Deputy Chief
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Funniest in recent memory was having a patient tell me to search "monkey balls" on YouTube. Funny vid. Search and watch at your own risk, it's NSFW.


Sent from my electronic overbearing life controller
 
slb862

slb862

Forum Lieutenant
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had an elderly bilateral leg amputee, who was demented, stick her stub legs up in the air, shaking them, all the while yelling "I'm coming, I'm coming"...
:rofl:
 
Anjel

Anjel

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mike1390

Forum Captain
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once had an elderly female during the transport im filling out the run sheet and asked what her phone number was she replied " I dont know" I said "you dont know your phone number?" and with out missing a beat she replied "well I dont call myself!!"

It made my day.
 
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WolfmanHarris

Forum Asst. Chief
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We do very few transfers where I work, but to save money our one ED still relies on us for a lot of return homes, but they have to wait until call volume allows. That means we're often waking our patients at 2 or 3 in the morning to take them home, which in some of our dementia patients means we get them at their worst.

My partner and I were taking this lady home one night, I'm driving. The patient repeats over and over again, "just drop me off here." finally just gets mad and yells "I have a gun! Let me out now or I'll shoot you!"

My partner doesn't miss a beat, "You have to show it to me first."
 
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OP
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emt for life

Forum Crew Member
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WolfmanHarris said:
We do very few transfers where I work, but to save money our one ED still relies on us for a lot of return homes, but they have to wait until call volume allows. That means we're often waking our patients at 2 or 3 in the morning to take them home, which in some of our dementia patients means we get them at their worst.

My partner and I were taking this lady home one night, I'm driving. The patient repeats over and over again, "just drop me off here." finally just gets mad and yells "I have a gun! Let me out now or I'll shoot you!"

My partner doesn't miss a beat, "You have to show it to me first."
Click to expand...

So I take it that she didn't have a gun?
 
D

dmc2007

Forum Captain
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slb862 said:
had an elderly bilateral leg amputee, who was demented, stick her stub legs up in the air, shaking them, all the while yelling "I'm coming, I'm coming"...
:rofl:
Click to expand...

By any chance did you used to work in the Boston area?
 
Anjel

Anjel

Forum Angel
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Ok I didn't have time to type this out before. But this was by far the funniest call I have been on.

4th of july. we were called to be a 2nd unit lift assist for the medics.

ATF 50 y/o lady sitting on her hospital toleit thing. This was at her house. She also had a cell phone ear piece taped and I mean super taped to her ear lol

Her c/c was she couldn't urinate.

this lady was laughing one minute crying the next. Had multiple personalities or something. Thought she was a baby. It was crazy. Her sister was there. She asked the medics to get her some water and put 10 tsp of sugar in it because her sugar was low. So they did and just as they were going to take her bgl and give it to her, her sister yells no she's lying. It's really high sugar. So none of that.

Then as we are preparing the stretcher I look over and she had lit up her pipe. And was smoking marijuana in her living room with me her sister my partner and 2 medics. lol So we took that away.

So she says she is done trying to pee and asks for some ice in a paper towel. we give it to her and she starts rubbing herself "down there" and pleasuring herself. Yea so that was taken away. Finally we stopped trying to please her and just grabbed her put her on the stretcher. She then turned into the baby personality and crying and telling us to stop hitting her.

It was a hot mess. But fricken hilarious. I think you just had to be there. lol
 
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DGreno

Forum Probie
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My partner and I went on an unk medical in the city one afternoon. Turned out two be to ladies in their 50's in a poor section of town. The house had no AC and smelled pretty bad. They were doth pretty intoxicated and one of them was laying in the floor apparently unable to get to her feet. Well, my partner and I got her sitting up and each took an arm. We then lifted her to her feet at which time she took the opportunity to cop a feel on both of us at the same time. I didn't realize she did it on purpose (or to both of us) until my partner made a comment along the lines of staying there awhile.

Another call my partner decided to jump on:
We ran a 49 (crazy person) who was threatening us, her husband, cops and anyone else in the vicinity with a knife. Long story short, I drive us in to the hospital and hear her yelling "Look at them, They're nice aren't they". Mind you, she was restrained and a PD officer was in the back with them. I look in the mirror to see my partner throwing a sheet on her to cover her up. No idea how she managed to get her shirt off. (Didn't really want to know) She continued yelling and telling everyone to look all the way through the ED to the observation area.
 
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Handsome Robb

Youngin'
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guttruck said:
a Bariatrics pt. once said to me that it was a ton of fun:rofl:
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Sometimes I wish the forum had a "like" button like facebook does haha
 
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dstevens58

Forum Lieutenant
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Got called at 2AM for unknown type assistance needed. Turned out some "bedroom games" got a little out of hand (so to speak) and the couple lost the keys to a set of handcuffs. Luckily, before my partner jumped in with the bolt cutters, I was able to produce a handcuff key (I was also an auxiliary police officer).
 
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EMT1222

Forum Ride Along
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mike1390 said:
once had an elderly female during the transport im filling out the run sheet and asked what her phone number was she replied " I dont know" I said "you dont know your phone number?" and with out missing a beat she replied "well I dont call myself!!"

It made my day.
Click to expand...

That is so great. Also jealous you are in Thousand Oaks, it's one of my favorite places in California.
 
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