Ummm...

PArescueEMT

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This is a copy of an article that was written for the Stony Brook Press:

Snagged in the Act!

By The Lunatick

As a Critical Care EMT and volunteer firefighter, I've always enjoyed the surprises that we often encounter on emergency calls. But even in my wildest dreams (believe me, they're wild!) did I expect to come across this situation:

We were called for an unknown subject with an unknown chief complaint. As we pulled up at the scene, we saw two cops lying on the front lawn laughing their asses off. So, I went up to one of the cops I knew and asked, "Andy, what's wrong?"

He just sat there laughing so hard that he couldn't talk, so he pointed in the general direction of the house. We walked in and found a guy sitting on a couch with his legs spread with a girl's head right in his crotch. It seemed like she was giving him a blow job. But she had braces and managed to snag the skin of his penis so tightly that they couldn't get it out.

We then had to transport this duo to the hospital by placing him supine on the stretcher with his partner curled up at his legs in the fetal position. To prevent further embarrassment, we covered them with a blanket , brought the ambulance to the front door of the house, and quickly hauled them in.

"OK, wise ***, how are you going to call this in to the hospital?". asked a crew member with an evil grin.

I picked up the radio and started, "Mather Memorial, we are enroute with two patients; one male with an entangled object, and one female with a possible obstructed airway."

"What do you mean, possible obstructed airway?!!" ejaculated the E.R. nurse

"Never mind, just have a private room ready when we get there!"



The head nurse was already standing at the door when we arrived.

"So, what have you got?" she asked

"Private room," I whispered

"Naw, I gotta see what you got."

"Trust me, PRIVATE room"

(We had them so well covered with sheets and blankets that you couldn't see anything.)

"Come on, I gotta see!" replied the nurse impatiently

"OK, you win!"

The nurse lifted up the sheets and immediately yanked it down and yelled, "IN THERE!"

So we dropped them off, got our paperwork signed, rushed outside, and started laughing our asses off. Even on our way back, we giggled through each radio transmission until the dispatcher said, "When you guys get back, you're coming in here 'cause I wanna hear this story."

At the base, we rolled around on the floor of the dispatch room laughing so hard that there were tears streaming down our faces.

And people say EMS is boring.
 

medic03

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I actually know "the lunatick" and beleive me, he is one.....
 

Jon

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Originally posted by medic03@Mar 13 2005, 04:47 AM
I actually know "the lunatick" and beleive me, he is one.....
Really.... Would have NEVER guessed....

He reminds me a little of PA Rescue.

Who else would think that something involving his sleeping partner, their rig, and duck tape is a good idea????

:lol: jon
 

Wingnut

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Originally posted by MedicStudentJon@Mar 14 2005, 09:54 PM

Who else would think that something involving his sleeping partner, their rig, and duck tape is a good idea????

Ok I am SO not doing any more 24 hr ride alongs next month!
 

CodeSurfer

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Be very afraid... it's rare to make it through your first ride along without any major emotional or physical scarring.

Take me for example... My first ride along ended with admission to the ER and a CT Scan.
 

Summit

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Originally posted by CodeSurfer@Mar 16 2005, 09:00 PM
Be very afraid... it's rare to make it through your first ride along without any major emotional ... scarring.

Take me for example...
[/... abuse]

Did your paramedic touch you in the bad places?
 

Wingnut

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Originally posted by Summit+Mar 17 2005, 02:45 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Summit @ Mar 17 2005, 02:45 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-CodeSurfer@Mar 16 2005, 09:00 PM
Be very afraid... it's rare to make it through your first ride along without any major emotional ... scarring. 

Take me for example...
[/... abuse]

Did your paramedic touch you in the bad places? [/b][/quote]


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

That was SO wrong...but....LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!





Codesurfer, sorry to laugh at your expense....what happened?
 

EMTstudent

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Originally posted by CodeSurfer@Mar 16 2005, 09:00 PM
Be very afraid... it's rare to make it through your first ride along without any major emotional or physical scarring.

Take me for example... My first ride along ended with admission to the ER and a CT Scan.
Okay CS -

Fess up...

Tell the story.


I wanna be prepared before I do my first ride along.....
 

CodeSurfer

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My story will never live up to what you have created with your whacked out ems minds... but here goes. It's more humiliating than it is funny.

I used to have (and still kinda do) this puke-phobia... not really a fear of it, but the sight/smell/sound of vomiting makes me vomit. So I, being the wise person I am, decided that in case someone puked in the ambulance on my ride along, I wouldnt eat anything after breakfast (started ride along at 4pm). So first patient in we get this old guy with Hx of everything, and C/C of dying (pretty much).

I'm standing with my knees locked holding the pts arm while the medic starts the IV (and misses a couple times, and this guy was a bleeder). Anyway, by now my blood sugar was low, I was dehydrated and had been standing bent over with my knees locked for about 20 minutes. Long story short I stood up too fast to give the medic his props for getting the line in and before my hand could hit his hand my head hit the floor (or so I'm told). :unsure:

The only good part of this was the rapid trauma assessment the rather good-looking medic gave me, and even that was half over by the time I came to. :wacko:

I got admitted to the ER, CT scanned and discharged about 5 hours later with papers on syncope, and concussions (even though I didnt have one).

Moral of the story? Eat, drink and avoid occipital subdural hematomas. <_<
 

Jon

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Originally posted by CodeSurfer@Mar 18 2005, 07:30 PM
My story will never live up to what you have created with your whacked out ems minds... but here goes. It's more humiliating than it is funny.

I used to have (and still kinda do) this puke-phobia... not really a fear of it, but the sight/smell/sound of vomiting makes me vomit. So I, being the wise person I am, decided that in case someone puked in the ambulance on my ride along, I wouldnt eat anything after breakfast (started ride along at 4pm). So first patient in we get this old guy with Hx of everything, and C/C of dying (pretty much).

I'm standing with my knees locked holding the pts arm while the medic starts the IV (and misses a couple times, and this guy was a bleeder). Anyway, by now my blood sugar was low, I was dehydrated and had been standing bent over with my knees locked for about 20 minutes. Long story short I stood up too fast to give the medic his props for getting the line in and before my hand could hit his hand my head hit the floor (or so I'm told). :unsure:

The only good part of this was the rapid trauma assessment the rather good-looking medic gave me, and even that was half over by the time I came to. :wacko:

I got admitted to the ER, CT scanned and discharged about 5 hours later with papers on syncope, and concussions (even though I didnt have one).

Moral of the story? Eat, drink and avoid occipital subdural hematomas. <_<
the term is sympathetic vomiter.

I'm one too.... when is the next "VA" meeting (Vomiter's Anoynomous)


Jon
 

CodeSurfer

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So do you vomit if you have a pt vomiting in the back of your rig?
 

Wingnut

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That's a good one CodeSurfer... :lol:

The jokes and stories have nothing on what some of us do when we "think."
 

Jon

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Originally posted by CodeSurfer@Mar 18 2005, 07:43 PM
So do you vomit if you have a pt vomiting in the back of your rig?
Sometimes.... That is why they invented the step-well at the cirb-side door...

I also have a hard time with REALLY BAD "sick people" smells (think BAD SNF's)

I am usually fine if I remove myself from the situation for a moment to catch my breath, and then go back to work.

It also depends how bad my stomach is that day.



Jon
 

CodeSurfer

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Originally posted by MedicStudentJon+Mar 18 2005, 09:23 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (MedicStudentJon @ Mar 18 2005, 09:23 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-CodeSurfer@Mar 18 2005, 07:43 PM
So do you vomit if you have a pt vomiting in the back of your rig?
Sometimes.... That is why they invented the step-well at the cirb-side door...

I also have a hard time with REALLY BAD "sick people" smells (think BAD SNF's)

I am usually fine if I remove myself from the situation for a moment to catch my breath, and then go back to work.

It also depends how bad my stomach is that day.



Jon [/b][/quote]
Good to know... I have a had numerous people tell me I could never work as a medic with my SVS (sympathetic vomiting syndrome). I figure the more I am exposed to it, the less it will bother me... but I too had good and bad days with my stomach. Some days I could deal with GI bleed and be fine but other days it seems like the after effects of a bean burrito could make me lose my lunch. :huh:

...and forget those emesis basins. Who even pukes that much and that controlled?
 

TTLWHKR

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I really don't mind vomit anymore, its the smells I can't stand. But I learned to put this lemon-ammonia smelling cream in my nose, comes in a little can from most military surplus stores (in this case it was Coleman's Surplus in Millersburg, pa).
Then put a surgi mask on, that takes care of any smells. But what I just cannot stand to see or smell is breakfast puke. Eggs or Oatmeal puke; maybe rare-meat puke has got to be the worst site/smell, even after digested blood.

I've never puked from a patient doing anything, we had a new driver/tech, he only drove once.. on the way to a cardiac arrest, going really fast, he was just driving in a manner that made me "uneasy" in the stomach region. I couldn't tell if anyone was behind us b/c the old ambu's had the curtains over the windows, I hope nobody was there. I puked at least six times out the curb-side window. :wacko: Then when we got on scene I was so weak in the knees I couldn't get out of the bus :( . Didn't matter anyway, the call was for an elderly man down in his yard, full arrest. It was an elderly man, and he was laying in his yard against a tree. But he wasn't even unconscious, he was reading a book. :huh:
 

Wingnut

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Lmao (about the guy reading a book)



I've gagged a few times but have yet to lose it (knock on wood)
 

emtbuff

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I have gagged a few times to but really haven't had anyone puke in the back of the rig yet. As for those bad body smells yes that can make me gag I tend to position myself by the window and then open it up and breath some fresh air.

As for codesufer don't feel to bad about passing out. I did it once when I was up at the hosptial for a school class where you went in to different careers to see if you liked it or not. Well anyways I had been sick the weekend before and had came back to school and wasn't feeling to bad. Our little hospital however has a history of being really warm. So I went to the hospital for my two hours or what ever it was that I was suppose to be there I was dressed with a couple layers because at the school it is usually pretty chilly. I went with one of the nurses that was starting a line in an outpaitents port. I was standing there doing fairly well and then things started going kinda black so I said something to the nurse and when I woke up all I knew is that I was on the floor with my feet being held in the air and being told to slow down my breathing. Needles to say they took me in to on of the hosptial rooms across from the nurses station that has it windows and fans blowing at all times and was told to sit there for a couple secounds. They let me go home to my bed where I belonged. After my mother came and got me. Now I work at that hospital and work with the same people that I passed out on and I know to dress in light layers.

Now I am a little worried about the ERT (rescue tech class) that I am going to be taking in April cause I also don't sweat so I have troubles with that and am hoping that I don't end up on the floor. But it should be fine as long as I monitor my self. RIGHT?!?!?! :D :D
 

CodeSurfer

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Passing out was definitely embarrasing... everyone just assumed it was from seeing the blood. I am sooo not the person who gets light-headed from blood. B)
 

TTLWHKR

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Blood doesn't bother me unless it's mine... If it's mine, I had better be sitting when I see it. :huh:

Only time I've passed out on the job was prolly from heavy work in the heat. We rode 12 miles -IN- the bucket of a skid-steer, and walked another 7 miles to get to a nasty forest fire a few years back. The slow going took us from 3pm when it was reported by a forest service plane, and we arrived at the fire line at 2am. Horrible, steep, rugged terrain, you could stand straight up, reach your hand out and touch the ground. We worked the fire for six days, and walked around our fire line surrounding the 23,000 acre fire. On the way back to base, half way up one of these steep mountains I was talking, having fun and just fell down. They helped me back up, and that time it all went black. :angry: I blame the damn five year old MRE's the forest service gave us. Yuckers, made more people sick than the heat did. I woke up 16 miles later in a national guard truck w/ three IV's running, and this really HOTT medic. She already had my clothes cut off so I figured what the hell, and I was just about to start hitting on her, but my body thought I should throw up instead. Big turn off. :(

Can't seem to spell today!
 
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