sick EMS jokes and acronyms.

[EMTmetzger]

ok lets admit it, us in EMS have some twisted mindes. i thought it would be great to have a place where we can tell our jokers to some people that understand them.

a beached whale. an icident involving a PT 300lbs or more.
a shish kabob. just think about it...
ART-assuming room tempurature.
ETOH-extreemly trashed or hammered
lets hear some more!!

 

[traumajunkie769]

gravitationally challenged----fall victim
user of MARPs----(mind altering recreational pharmaceuticals)

 

[Grady_emt]

Pre-incarceration Syndrome = i'm want to go to the hospital instead of go to jail/get a ticket

Police induced ______(insert any body part) pain = the po-po out to get me and my people

Level 1 crackhead: your normal, street walking, scraggely haired crackhead
level 2 crackhead: Your surburban, responsible, crackhead: only smokes when the kids are away for the weekend and such
level 3a crackhead: everyone knows they are a crackhead, but no-one wants to say anything to them
level 3b crackhead: You ask them for an xbox 360 and a 55" plasma TV, they return within 15 minutes with the items, AND reciepts with warrenty paperwork for them.
level 4 crackhead: Those that think they are still sexy

 

[BossyCow]

Suffering from TMB - Too Many Birthdays
SWV - Self Watering Vegetable
DRT - Dead Right There
BUG - As in 'We got us a BUG' Big Underwear Gal

 

[BBFDMedic28]

CCFCCP=coo coo for cocoa cocoa puffs
CTD= cilcling the drain
Pt entered high gravity area= pt fell
LOLFDGB=Little old lady fall down go boom
Chicken breath is hispanic for she caint breathe.
I work for AMR San Antonio part time and since SA is the fattest city in the nation (or close to it) we have a special ambulance called the "bariatric unit". I came up with a new name for it. "THE NON-LEAN MACHINE"

 

[TripsTer]

haha I work for AMR Houston. I thought we were the fattest city! We have two bari trucks with those big *** strykers.

and btw, i only work for AMR because im too young to get hired any where else. they freaking have lifepak 10s...with the paddles...lol

 

[BBFDMedic28]

Well I have to say that AMR SA aint much better. We have one bari truck with the big *** stryker with ramps and a winch. You know you're fat when we break out the ramps and winch. It is an old truck w/o AC and smells like fat people. We only have a Handful of LP12s and mainly use the LP10s....they suck balls. Allow me to give you some advice.....AMR is a job not a career. When you get old enough, move up.

 

[Doctor B]

Some more of my favorites.

The infamous floral syndrome for which there is no known cure- FTD (AKA Fixin To Die)
From the ER Docs comes the GOMER -Get Out Of My Emergency Room
can't forget the ever gruesome FUBAR or F---ked Up Beyond All Recognition
Also the celestially discharged. Not to hard to figure out. Goes along with the DRT.
from the deep south comes the t:t ratio (tooth to tattoo)
QUART -Quickly Under Assuming Room Temperature
The DFO's - Done Fell Out
The MRI - Major Rectal Incident
The DPA -Died with Paramedic Assistance
Our Favorite pt, The PUHA -we Picked Up and Hauled ***!!
To save our backs don't forget your ABC's - Ambulate Before Carrying
The always popular PITA group- Pain In The ***
Or the patient discharged to the ECU - Eternal Care Unit
and last but not least the man with MWS - Male Wuss Syndrome (Usually the 300 lb Harley guy with all the tatts that's afraid of needles)

 

[BBFDMedic28]

Very nice i think i might use some of those on my next PCR

 

[BDhooghe]

We also enjoy using:
CTD - Circling the Drain
PUHA - Pick Up. Haul ***.
SWAG - Scientific Wild *** Guess

 

[emtff376]

DNR = Doesn't Need a Rig.

 

[oldschoolmedic]

Aesthetic arrest - working a cardiac arrest performed solely due to overwhelming presence of grief-stricken family members who are threatening the lives of the crew, because "everything" should be done for their terminally ill (now deceased) 97 year old grandmother. Also known as "Alamo syndrome" i.e. like being the last two white guys in the Alamo.

Overabundance of gravity today - a series of fall calls without a clear reason.

FRT/DRT/SRT - Found right there, Dead right there, Stayed right there.

"Some dude" - Arbitrary gentleman who runs around kicking everybodys a$$, usually seen on weekends in college towns.

Aerobically challenged - not breathing.

Two beers - total amount of alcohol consumed by any individual in your response area ever, anything more is just bragging.

2DGJ - TOO drunk TO go TO jail.

CVS in a sack - The monstrous bag of daily meds that accompanies every chronically ill patient.

The Deer/Dog/Possum etc... - mysterious animal that leaves no tracks, hair, blood, or poop at the scene of the wreck it caused thus diverting attention away from the two beers the driver had earlier in the evening.

 

[rmellish]

Other "alternative" phrases for death and dying

ART - Assuming Room Temperature
NLPR - No longer playing records
KIWJ- Kickin it with Jesus
CC - Cancel Christmas

 

[Airwaygoddess]

Oh My Gosh......Now That Is A Good One!!^_^

DNR = Doesn't Need a Rig.

 

[JerzEmt]

TLA = Three letter Acronyms
FLA = Fore letter Acronyms
TOBy = Tis on a Bull
Incarceritis == Hosptial over jail

 

[jakobsmommy2004]

Code Brown

Code Brown- take a guess lol

 

[BossyCow]

Two beers - total amount of alcohol consumed by any individual in your response area ever, anything more is just bragging.

Come on now..... I've noticed they never say how large those two beer were!

Funniest I ever saw, guy face down in his own puke, lying in front lawn, barely responsive... discussion going on with his 5 friends on scene over has he been drinking.. guy raises up two fingers... so drunk he can't talk and he's still telling us he only had 2 beers.

Okay, on reflection, I seem to have a sense of humor probably not appropriate for general society!