Patient Friendly Jokes

[PowerStream]

New invention. A hybrid surgical robot. You start its engine and it operates on batteries.

 

[PowerStream]

We had our paramedics work in HR for a week to encourage better teamwork. They immediately sent out an employment ad that read "Supermodels wanted, (must know CPR.)."

 

[PowerStream]

Everything in product development these days is about connectivity. One company just came out with a new silent smoke alarm. When it detects smoke it sends you a text, tweets your friends, and posts a picture of the fire on facebook.

 

[PowerStream]

5 year old: "Mom, can I sleep with jumper cables under my pillow?"

Mom: "OK, but you have to promise not to start anything."

 

[PowerStream]

A couple was getting a little frisky behind the wheel of an Altima on a slick street, lost control and went slightly off the road, hit a tree with the front end and needed to call an ambulance and roadside assistance.

A classic case of Head, Shoulder, Nissan Tows, Ice, ERs, Mouth and Nose.

 

[Summit]

Good news, we are almost to the hospital, but we got another call. Are you familiar with how to tuck and roll?

 

[PowerStream]

I invented a mind-control air freshener. It make scents when you think about it.

 

[PowerStream]

Was Dr Pepper the first fizzician?

 

[PowerStream]

I was going to draw your blood, but I forgot my red crayon.

 

[PowerStream]

I ate a kid's meal at McDonalds. The mother got really mad.

 

[PowerStream]

Got a call last night. A woman collapsed on the airport luggage carousel. She came slowly around.

 

[Phillyrube]

When I ask for a finger and they don't give me the middle finger I tell them that they missed a good chance to flip me off.
When I am getting ready to stick an IV or finger stick I tell them if it hurts to punch my partner,

I always tell them it's gonna hurt you more than it hurts me.
Another thing I tell them is to watch me and relax. If I get upset, then you need to get upset.