Friends who are superiors

[pfmedic]

I was a probationary member for 4 months and have learned how a department is supposed to function as well as what works, and what doesn't. For example, you can't join a department where a very high ranking officer is your best friend, whether he thinks he is or not. So you live, learn, pick up the pieces and change the "master plan." Life is ever changing. Well at least I am a certified Basic! All I need to do is find a new volunteer department to gain a year of experience to quailify myself for a paid position. I wont be able to go the the fire academy in the fall anymore without my membership, but at least I will be able to continue my education at the local college.

Anyone else have any stories like this? I could have ellaborated, but Im too angry. heh.

 

[SWVAEMT]

Yeah, I used to have problems like that. Later in life found that one simple change made all the difference in the world..........................................my attitude.

 

[pfmedic]

I'd like to hear more. I currently do not view myself as the problem

 

[TTLWHKR]

Everywhere I go, people seem to like me, I never have any problems with people.

Unless they are religious. I'm an atheist, but I don't talk about it, nor do I even mention it. I'm not a devil worshiper, I don't promote all that ritual crap, I just don't get into all this bible stuff. I strongly dislike people who shove their beliefs in my face or onto a patient. We shouldn't be telling people they will die with out God...

 

[pfmedic]

wow! I can believe anyone would say such a thing! I cant stand religiously closed-minded people... they make me throw up.

 

[Chimpie]

Trying to bring this back on topic...

My best friend is above me on the Disaster Response side of the Red Cross. We get along just fine. He is my supervisor and I understand that. I also know that when he makes a decision he looks at it from all points of view (mine, his and the chapter as a whole) and makes the best one he can. He knows what I'm good at and knows when to let me go and do what's needed to get the job done. I know that he has to protect me and also the Chapter so if he says something needs to be done (or doesn't need to be done) than he says it and I listen.

I'm not sure what happened in your situation, but it's been a couple of days since the original post. I hope you are calmer now and can tell us the rest of the story. That way we can help you out better.

 

[coloradoemt]

wow! I can believe anyone would say such a thing! I cant stand religiously closed-minded people... they make me throw up.

 

[TTLWHKR]

Hey! Why can't I just respond with a smilie face too?!?!

Damnit! <hits head off of desk>



To the topic. I feel these is no problem being friends with a superior, as long as neither try to take advantage of it. You shouldn't expect something from them, as a superior; and they should be able to do their job, with you following, as someone under them.

 

[Wingnut]

Chimp and WHKR have it pegged. You both have to be able to discern your working relationship from the personal one. If you both can't do it then it won't work.

 

[TTLWHKR]

Never use a relationship with a superior to get farther, you'll lose their respect!

 

[pfmedic]

here it is

Yes, some time has passed. And in that time, some good things have happened, and some bad things too. So far, I have decided to stay at the department becuase it's better for me to do so. I need to work for a department. I am currently at a loss as how to further address the situation. Currently I keep my comments to myself, and bend over and take my superiors verbal abuse, becuase standing up to him only made me look unruly and unprofessional in the eyes of the department... It's too late to fix that.

It may be better if you guys ask me questions since I dont know where to begin explaining the problem. I'll paint a background picture for ya though of facts rather than speculation:

My problem: My superior is abrasive, cold hearted and goes out of his way to bombard me with criticism in an unproductive way. He does not do this with the other probationary members. I liken it to the way a master reprimands a dog yelling at him and hitting him with a newspaper. Im a human and should be treated as one. I have feelings and dont deserve to be treated like a lower life-form or garbage. I think people should care about people. Thats why I got into the business. I want to help people. I dont think that his attitude has a place in the fire or ems service.

I excell. I have been fortunate to be born to an upper-middle class, and receive a first class education from the ground up, attending two universities and receiving a bachelors degree. I became very poor very fast trying to make it in my original field (I choose to keep my prior profession to myself.) Now I have come into his life and excelled at his profession.

I am proactive. The department was not ready for a proactive probationary member and doesnt know how react to me nor what Im allowed to do and what Im not. They have special meetings about me all the time deciding what I should and shouldnt be allowed to do. They examined the bylaws last night and decided that I am not allowed to respond at all without a member. They originally told me that I could respond POV to EMS calls. Well, not anymore. For all practical purposes, I can put my uniform back in the drawer becuase Im not going to be going on calls anymore. heh.

He has twisted my words and actions. He has told the members in a officers meeting that I resigned breifly because I can't take criticism. Thats not true at all, and I never said that. My previous profession was heavily based on criticism and my problem with the department wasnt with the department at all! It was with this guy and the nature in which he delivers his reprimandation and nobody should be treated like dirt. Thats not conducive to creating a strong community within the fire department.

OK theres the jist of it. If you have any further questions, ask and ye shall recieve.

 

[Stevo]

i sense an inferiority complex on your superiors part pfmedic, most cockey condensending sorts are really so you know...

sratch a bullys surface and you'll find a coward inside every time...

~S~

 

[pfmedic]

Thanks steve. It's nice to know that Im not crazy. You made my day.


AND THANK YOU EMTLIFE. I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!

 

[Chimpie]

Obviously your college education didn't teach you about how things work out in the real world.

Unless you're a consultant, starting a job by telling them how things should be ran or changed will get pushed out the door faster than anything. Bite your tounge, learn the way things are done, and when you are in a position to make changes make them. Until then, shut up and do what you're told. I kid, I kid.

 

[pfmedic]

chimpie is right, although I never tired to tell anyone how to run anything... and thats not what got me in trouble.

 

[pfmedic]

...although my biggest mistake was telling a superior that he has an attitude problem. I should have kept my mouth shut like chimpie said. Now I have to deal with officers who think that I have a commitment problem when I actually have a personnel problem.


But it's hard to bend over and take it up the sewage pipe all the time. After all, it's the fire department... not San Quentin! HAH


I will try to do better by keeping it all to myself.