First child and what to expect

gonefishing

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Hey all, haven't been on here in a while. First off Happy New Year! The wife and I are expecting our first child in 4 months. Just wondering how you all manage with the wacky schedules of say 2 parents working in the medical field and just how hard is it? Any pointers or advice? Thanks in advance.
 
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Happy New Year, and congrats again!!
 

DrParasite

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congrats!!! expect lots of sleepless nights to start, expect to use up all your PTO at both of your jobs, get all the FMLA paperwork signed and submitted early, and everyone's first child has issue.

as for scheduling, do you work the same or opposite schedules? meaning, are you both on days, both on nights, one days one nights? are you on the same shift, or different shifts? Who is going to take care of the child when you are working? other family? babysitter? daycare is ridiculously expensive..... as are diapers.... but both are necessary evils.... reviews the costs now so you know how much $$$ you will need.

don't expect to be able to pick up much OT once the baby comes, but def take as much as you can now and save as much as you can....

The one saving grace I will tell you is when it came to my first child, every parent understood why I was sleep deprived, cranky, and more annoyed with little things than usual. This included my boss. Show them pictures of your cute little bundle of joy, and they will say awwwww a lot. You aren't the first person to experience this, and you def won't be the last.

Once the baby learns how to sleep through the night, things will get better. Oh, and a well fed baby sleeps much better than a hungry one.
 

akflightmedic

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4 months...congrats.

Well first of all I am going to dispense parenting advice in lieu of some of the scheduling advice you already got. My advice is from being a paycheck to paycheck paramedic back in the day.

Start buying diapers now, not the cute tiny ones as that size will not last long. Start stockpiling...and once you have a closet full, just know that is not enough. Buy now and it reduces the sting from the wallet later on. Clothes...yes the outfits are cute, but seriously, save your money. Let Grandparents and extended family buy that stuff. They are ridiculously priced, do not last long, and think about what their function is...to cover a small human who will seep, spit, poop, vomit, roll around in and everything else....seriously, is this the time to splurge on whats cute/in style or to be more practical? You WILL have many other expenses and this is an area you should skimp on so when you get slammed with the unexpected your wallet is not destroyed.

There are a bazillion gadgets and products these days to "simplify" your life. Things your baby "needs"...do not fall into this. Yes, some are very helpful, creative, etc...but watch all those small purchases here and there, because next thing you know the house is overloaded with crap you do not really need and dollars got sucked out the door. *Parental Guilt...with both of you working, you will start to feel bad about missed time with the baby....the kid does NOT know the difference, just give good quality time when you do have small quantities...that is what they will understand. Do not buy stuff. :)

Life Insurance...Gerber Life Insurance is the biggest rip off ever. They essentially guilt you into thinking you need life insurance on your baby. This is not true. Unless you kid is the breadwinner, you do not need insurance on your kid. Do NOT throw away money on this. Should your kid ever die, you will have plenty of resources to pay for a funeral. I detest Gerber for how they market this policy to new/young parents....what you DO need is life insurance on both you and your spouse. They are incredibly cheap and affordable at your presumed younger age and absolutely essential. Get locked into one now...just think if you lost your spouse or she lost you...that is where the money needs to come into play.

In closing, baby sales/toys/gadgets/clothes/insurance are all geared to play into the mindset of you are not a good parent unless you buy X, Y or Z. Just be smart about your purchases, love your kid, talk to your kid, play with your kid, expose them to music, contrasting colors and let them be a kid. Those interactions will have far greater impact on your child's well being more than any item you could buy.

I sound like an old crony....I promise I am not, however I do have three young adults who are quite well adjusted in life and are decent humans. I am proud of how they turned out. My comments are lessons learned the hard way, yet realized early enough to make changes and not be foolish. :)
 

gonefishing

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Thanks to both you for the sound advice so far. I'll try and start from the top.

Schedules- wife does case management from home and mother in law is excited because she said she has an excuse to retire lol

Diapers- my wife's fought me on this one to this day. She's worried about the baby being allergic to the material of the diaper.

Clothes- We've bought a few things but majority is coming from family so no complaints from me or my wallet.

As for life insurance, way ahead of the game. We are both covered. I was looking at Gerber but than was steered towards a savings plan by a good friend of mine that is a financial planner for a living. He said the same thing about the Gerber plan.

For toys, my wife and I both agreed to not be the electronic baby sitter time parents.
I'm thankful for all the advice so far and looking forward to bringing in a life into this world.
 

akflightmedic

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Diapers...buy them anyways. Odds are the kid will NOT be allergic. However, if the kid is allergic, then trade with other parents via social media or donate (if you are in a financial position to buy now and possibly give away later).

(Eye roll)....already starting with allergy concerns. Sigh.... :)
 

mgr22

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Just to focus on one of the many pieces of good advice already offered, finances are really important. It's never too soon to start saving for your kid(s), both for specific goals (e.g., education) and for emergencies. For most of us, that means restructuring priorities. If you spend $60,000 on a car or $10,000 on a vacation when half as much would work, you probably should reconsider at least some of your goals. Of course, such issues are best confronted before couples decide to have children.
 

PotatoMedic

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I just bring the kid with me to work .. he lives in the captians baby seat... 5 codes already... I call him the angle of death. As no one makes it and he giggles the entire time.

(Kidding. I'm lucky that my wife stays home so she cares for him while I get to rest at work)
 

gonefishing

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I just bring the kid with me to work .. he lives in the captians baby seat... 5 codes already... I call him the angle of death. As no one makes it and he giggles the entire time.

(Kidding. I'm lucky that my wife stays home so she cares for him while I get to rest at work)
LOL!!!!!! start them young right!?!
 

DrParasite

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I just bring the kid with me to work .. he lives in the captians baby seat... 5 codes already... I call him the angle of death. As no one makes it and he giggles the entire time.

(Kidding. I'm lucky that my wife stays home so she cares for him while I get to rest at work)
So your saying this isn't your kid?
 

PotatoMedic

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