EMS Abbreviations

traumaluv2011

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I am still learning many abbreviations that I didn't know existed, but this is a pretty humorous look at some abbreviations.

From an article by Kelly Grayson; Ambulance Driver, found HERE.

"WNL." Sure, everybody knows that is supposed to mean "Within Normal Limits." But if you've worked with the same kind of people I have, it means "We Never Looked."

"EMT." The US Department of Transportation says EMT means "Emergency Medical Technician," but anyone who has ever worked for a transfer service knows that EMT really stands for "Eggcrate Mattress Technician," or "Every Menial Task."

"NKDA." Normally, most healthcare professionals take that to mean "No Known Drug Allergies." But after comparing my patient's history to the reports I sometimes get from first responders, I think it actually means, "Not Known, Didn't Ask."

"IABP." Sure, you critical care medics who have strapped one of the these little babies to the floor of your rig may know it means "Intra-Aortic Balloon Pump," but all it takes is a look at the vital signs on some of the patients it's attached to, and you realize it means, "I Am Barely Perfusing."

"ECMO." While the ICU nurse may tell you that it means "Extra-Corporeal Membrane Oxygenation," given the long-term prognosis of some of these patients, it more likely means "Extra Cash-Making Opportunity," or perhaps, "Even Corpses May Oxygenate."

"EMS." Sure, we know that it means "Emergency Medical Services," but anyone who has ever worked an event standby knows that it means "Earn Money Sleeping."

"LOL2." No, it's not some new form of text-speak. It's LOL Squared, meaning "Little Old Lady, Lying On Linoleum."

"IDDM." Taber's Medical Dictionary defines it as "Insulin Dependent Diabetes Mellitus," but judging from some of my hypoglycemic frequent flyers, it means "I Don't Do Meals."

"BLS and ALS." Sure, they're supposed to mean "Basic Life Support" and "Advanced Life Support," but judging from the way some of my colleagues treat their EMT-B partners, they mean "Basic Lifting Service" and "Ain't Lifting Sh*t."

"DCAP-BTLS." EMT textbooks since 1994 have used that mnemonic to teach students what to look for in a secondary survey; "Deformities, Crepitus/Contusions, Abrasions, Punctures/Penetrations, Burns, Tenderness, Lacerations and Swelling…" But any medic who has ever served as a skill station examiner can tell you that many of the exam candidates "Didn't Comprehend Any Part of Basic Trauma Life Support."
 
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Gray

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LOL, misread this.
 
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traumaluv2011

traumaluv2011

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Anybody have any acronyms like this?
 

Anjel

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CTD= circling the drain

PUHA -pick up haul ***

DFO-done fell out

Abc- ambulate before carry
 

usafmedic45

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PBAB- Pine Box at Bedside
ADASTW/FDASTW- Arrived Dead and Stayed That Way/Found Dead and Stayed That Way
GGWAHWTD- Gory, Gory, What a Hell of a Way To Die (reference to 'Blood on the Risers')
[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fKqt79FXlCA&feature=results_video&playnext=1&list=PL008F07687F19FABF[/YOUTUBE]

BTW, standing on the scene and singing that is not appropriate. You should wait until you're en route prior to doing so.
 
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hippocratical

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Google I'm sure will find you a billion, but my the ones I remember from my UK medic friends are:

NFN - Normal for Norfolk (think rural dummies)
FLK - Funny Looking Kid
SBI - Scum Bag Index: number of tattoos x number of missing teeth = chance of survival. So LOL (Little Old Lady) with mild concussion? CTD. Gangster with a tooth, 4 inches of non-inked skin, and LOD (Lead overdose) of 9 bullets? He's fine.

I've always liked "Donorcycle" too instead of Motorcycle as many times the injuries are such that the Pt.s head may get squished, but the organs are good for the taking.
 

hippocratical

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okay I'm bored so I hit the Google. Here's some I found that made me ROFLWTFLOLBBQETC:

IWB - Intercourse With Biscuits (F**king Crackers)
LFTWM - Looking for 3 Wise Men (applied to young pregnant females who deny having had intercourse)
NFS - Neuro-faecal Syndrome - s**t for brains
Doughnut of Death - CT Scanner
Pillow Consult - wanting to smother a difficult patient
PRATTFO - Patient Reassured And Told to F*** Off
TEETH - Tried Everything Else, Try Homeopathy
TUBE - Totally Unnecessary Breast Examination
UBI - Unexplained Beer Injury
Urban Outdoorsman - Homeless person
WNL - not "Within Normal Limits" but rather "We Never Looked"

And for some reason I have the term "Shotgun Mouthwash" stuck in my head too (suicide by shotgun). Is it just me, or is "Shotgun Mouthwash" the best band name ever?
 
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imadriver

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DRT - Dead Right There
OLJ's - Oh Lordy Jesus (I work in the Bible Belt)
FUBAR - F*cked Up Beyond All Recognition (Don't think this is "EMS")
 

Aprz

The New Beach Medic
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DRT - Dead Right There
DRTTTT - dead right there, there, there, and there. I remember reading this on a little list of humorous EMS acronyms, and this was right after DRT. Was hellav roflmao.

ELF - evil little :censored::censored::censored::censored:er
BMW - :censored::censored::censored::censored::censored:, moan, and whine
APTFRAN - apply pillow to face, repeat as necessary
 
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