Dealing with Family and Friends

[CPRinProgress]

I recently went on a CPR call but when I got on scene it turns out that the kid hung himself. Anyway, because I am so young people including, Squad members, family, friends all think that it is bothering me and that am repressing the sadness. The truth is that I feel no pity for someone who feels that they need to take their own life. I have been on 5 other Codes and I just want to let everyone know that I am ok. Has anyone else ever run into this? How did you solve the problem?

 

[NJEMT95]

I think the best way to comfort your family & friends is to sincerely thank them for their concern and let them know you really appreciate them reaching out. Then go on to tell them that if you ever need to talk something out with someone, you'll go to them.

 

[CPRinProgress]

I think the best way to comfort your family & friends is to sincerely thank them for their concern and let them know you really appreciate them reaching out. Then go on to tell them that if you ever need to talk something out with someone, you'll go to them.

Yea I think that worked for everyone but my mom, She worries a lot.

 

[chaz90]

If you actually are ok with it, give it time and people will stop asking. They tend to question it for the first few days, and then it will fade away. Everybody's different though. Many people are bothered by suicides. I know that I dislike suicides, and hangings in particular, more than other deaths we encounter in the field. If you're actually not bothered by the call, fair enough. Early in your career or not though, don't get so cynical that you're not at all affected by a suicide. Someone who knows the patient found the body and called you. You don't have to have sympathy for someone that made the choice to kill themself, but try to remain caring towards those it affects. Understand that those who kill themselves have gone through tremendous difficulties, and despite their poor choice should not be immediately written off as unworthy of compassion.

 

[CPRinProgress]

If you actually are ok with it, give it time and people will stop asking. They tend to question it for the first few days, and then it will fade away. Everybody's different though. Many people are bothered by suicides. I know that I dislike suicides, and hangings in particular, more than other deaths we encounter in the field. If you're actually not bothered by the call, fair enough. Early in your career or not though, don't get so cynical that you're not at all affected by a suicide. Someone who knows the patient found the body and called you. You don't have to have sympathy for someone that made the choice to kill themself, but try to remain caring towards those it affects. Understand that those who kill themselves have gone through tremendous difficulties, and despite their poor choice should not be immediately written off as unworthy of compassion.

I see your point, I do feel bad for the family and what they have to go through, I just can't see what could be so bad in a 20 something y/o kids life that he felt the need to hang himself.

 

[NJEMT95]

Yea I think that worked for everyone but my mom, She worries a lot.

Yeah, I had my first code (DOA) when I was 16. I had a similar reaction from my mom. But like chaz said, they'll stop asking eventually.

 

[chaz90]

That could be because you weren't in his situation. I'm not saying I understand the decision, but youth suicide is a tragedy. No two ways about it. Sometimes in EMS cynicism and aloofness are seen as desirable or emulated because that's what older providers demonstrate. Don't be a part of that club. You shouldn't be suppressing tears on every call or becoming overly attached to your patients, but if you ever find yourself not caring at all for any patients, get out of EMS.

 

[abckidsmom]

Also, you can know that you care deeply, but aren't crying over the situation. You have/had a job to do, and if you did it well, giving the best support you could for the family, treating the deceased with respect, then you could come away humbled, moved, and fine.

 

[Ewok Jerky]

I tend not to discuss the particulars of my workday with peeps who don't understand what we do, our training, and how we deal with, and are affected by, what we see.

If something truelly was bothering me, I would definately seek the help of my family and friends. My mom, dad, and brother would freek if they heard some of what I have been up to, they couldnt believe it when I told them I wanted to be in EMS. So conversations about work just dont get very detailed with them.

I made the mistake of bringing up the cadaver donor memorial this weekend to my mom. I mentioned that I was uncomfortable chatting with the family members of the donors. I was uncomfortable due to long standing social anxiety, it had nothing to do with the scenerio, but my mom thought it was about the dead bodies...anyways, thats all.