Annoying partner?

So I'm starting to get at my wits end with my partner, a female basic with less then a year experience on the job. She is younger then me also. She doesnt stop talking and most of what she says is BS, and when you call her out she has some retort about it and keeps going. Or, when she talks about a run, she totally exaggerates the facts. For example, a 400 lb pt is suddenly 700 lbs. A person with chest pain is suddenly a non-breather requiring doctors to meet us in the hospitals EMS bay on arrival and doing CPR. Heck, shes even tried to prove me wrong, about my own FD I am on which she is not but her mom is on village council. She is a good, easy-going person but just talks alot of BS. I am afraid one day we will go to court and she will give a totally different statement of facts then I will because she exaggerates all the time. We both had to write incident reports recently and I can only imagine what hers said. I have asked for my management to give me a "break" from her but its typically ignored.

Anyone else go through this??

Not exactly, but I had a partner I didn't get along with. We settled things by talking. Have you tried that?

KnightRider said:

So I'm starting to get at my wits end with my partner, a female basic with less then a year experience on the job.

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so you have a problem with her gender? or her experience level?

KnightRider said:

She is younger then me also.

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so now it's an ageism? do you always discriminate against the youthful?

KnightRider said:

She doesnt stop talking

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the worst thing she does, is want to be talkative with her partner... yeah, she sounds horrible....

KnightRider said:

and most of what she says is BS, and when you call her out she has some retort about it and keeps going.

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what does that mean? are her retorts valid?

KnightRider said:

Or, when she talks about a run, she totally exaggerates the facts. For example, a 400 lb pt is suddenly 700 lbs.

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ehhh, 400, 700, still not a small person, but if your telling war stories about a heavy IFT patient, than we have other issues...

KnightRider said:

A person with chest pain is suddenly a non-breather requiring doctors to meet us in the hospitals EMS bay on arrival and doing CPR.

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ok, so this is a valid issue. have you documented it and raised your concert with a supervisor? or even better, did the hospital file a complaint with your supervisor over this type of behavior?

KnightRider said:

Heck, shes even tried to prove me wrong, about my own FD I am on which she is not but her mom is on village council.

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I don't understand what one thing has to do with the other but ok....

KnightRider said:

She is a good, easy-going person but just talks alot of BS. I am afraid one day we will go to court and she will give a totally different statement of facts then I will because she exaggerates all the time. We both had to write incident reports recently and I can only imagine what hers said.

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what was the incident report about? did you compare notes? or was there an issue, and you needed to each submit your version of what happened?

KnightRider said:

I have asked for my management to give me a "break" from her but its typically ignored.

Anyone else go through this??

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Sure. It's called being an adult. you won't always have great partners. I've had downright horrible ones. and I have had amazing ones. I've been lucky that most of my full time permanent partners have at least been competent providers, so even if our personalities clashed, we could still get the job done for 12 hours.

If you don't want to work with her, talk to management about a reassignment to a different truck. different time, different location, whatever. I'm sure your agency has a methodology for how people are assigned to units right? bid on another one. Until that happens, you're stuck on a truck with her for 24 straight hours. I would much rather have a partner who won't shut up compared to a partner who won't say a word to me. It's much easier to be friendly with her than get frustrated by it.

We were all inexperienced at one time, and many of us were also young too. you grow out of it, but it comes with time. Maybe she's simply a type B personality who likes to talk a lot, is really bored, and would rather communicate with her partner vs getting the silent treatment. Have you tried, I don't know, talking to her?

As I said before, I've had some amazing non-permanent partners (where we had a great time together, were on the same wavelength, and were able to function well together both on calls and when not on calls), and some horrible partners (where i had to double check everything they did, to make sure they did the right thing, or where they openly said "I know (this person in management), so you can complain all you want it won't go anywhere. but if you don't do what I want, i'll get you fired because (this person in management) really likes me." At the end of the day, I clock out and go home, so I can tolerate those horrible partners once in a while, especially if you are paying me OT to be there.

There are much worse circumstances to be in than be stuck with a younger female provider, who wants to talk waaaaay more than you would like her to. I'd gladly trade her for a semi-competent male partner who has become so complacent that getting him to do the right thing for our patient is like pulling teeth

DrParasite said:

so now it's an ageism? do you always discriminate against the youthful?

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Ok I was refraining from posting on here but where the hell did you get that from? I've had bad partners on both ends of the spectrum, does that constitute as ageism? No, it's just partners you don't get along with or who are generally ****ty. On the flip side I've had awesome partners who are younger than me and partners who are old enough to be my mom or dad. Just because someone brings up a point does not mean its ageism, are they using age in a derogatory manner? No, I don't see it. What I see is a fairly young probably really new EMT.

OP. Since I've now posted in this thread have you tried simply talking to the person? Be straightforward and to the point with them (your partner) instead of playing passive aggressive with management.

CALEMT said:

Ok I was refraining from posting on here but where the hell did you get that from?

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umm, from the original post:

KnightRider said:

So I'm starting to get at my wits end with my partner, a female basic with less then a year experience on the job. She is younger then me also.

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He clearly described her age (and gender), so I asked the simple question, does he have a problem with her because she was younger than him? Contrary to the belief of some, many people either have issues with younger people, or refuse to accept the competancy of a person simply because of their age.

If you look at my examples, I never once referenced the age, gender, or race of any of my bad or good partners.

So cool your jets, I didn't pull that out of the air, it was a direct response to his description of his partner.

DrParasite said:

umm, from the original post:

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You don't say... Clearly you don't understand what I was attempting to convey. What made you assume this was ageism? Simply stating the person is younger is simply that. Now if the OP said something along the lines of "she's annoying/ incompetent/ whatever because she's young" then yeah thats different.

DrParasite said:

does he have a problem with her because she was younger than him?

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If this is truly the case I'm not completely sold that someone would post on here when they know the root cause of the problem is the age or gender of their partner.

DrParasite said:

So cool your jets

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Clearly you took my post way out of context. It was a simple reply to a statement of yours that to me came so far out of left field it made me wonder what made you think that by a simple statement.

We were all young and new at one point in this field. We've all been excited and probably told war stories that were a bit exaggerated. To me it sounds like the OP's partner is that new person with the 3-30 mentality. Been on the job for 3 months but thinks they have 30 years of experience.

Yes, I have tried discussing it with her.

Dr.P, holy crap! You need to relax. Talk about tearing apart my post and twisting it. I was more saying I was older and I dont know if that had anything to do with it. I have no problems with the sex and age of my partner. I have talked to my management and dispatchers. They dont care.

I dont care that she talks, I care that its all BS. In that case, I wont mind a quiet ride. I have had other partners in her absence and we talk but its all truthful and good conversation. No exaggerations, BS or lies. Just actual constructive talk. Otherwise I sit there and say "uh huh" or "oh" the whole time to her because I can not respond to it.

Sounds like CALEMT has it right about the 3-30 mentality. Maybe I am not a big "war story" guy I guess, but she gets her rocks off on flipping on lights and sirens, over exaggerating runs and me having to later tell people that was not how it happened, etc. The fact she makes claims to be on a fire dept I am affiliated with and then tries to tell me I am wrong and that her mom runs it (last I checked we have a Fire Chief that does), etc. Its all BS all the time and I cant communicate with her.

you should quit and find a new job. or find a new job and then quit. either way, you should find a job where you are happier.

nothing you say about the job, or while working there is ever positive, and you have made several posts complaining about your employer and its conditions..

based on what you say, the place sucks, and you should go work somewhere else

KnightRider said:

So I'm starting to get at my wits end with my partner, a female basic with less then a year experience on the job. She is younger then me also. She doesnt stop talking and most of what she says is BS, and when you call her out she has some retort about it and keeps going. Or, when she talks about a run, she totally exaggerates the facts. For example, a 400 lb pt is suddenly 700 lbs. A person with chest pain is suddenly a non-breather requiring doctors to meet us in the hospitals EMS bay on arrival and doing CPR. Heck, shes even tried to prove me wrong, about my own FD I am on which she is not but her mom is on village council. She is a good, easy-going person but just talks alot of BS. I am afraid one day we will go to court and she will give a totally different statement of facts then I will because she exaggerates all the time. We both had to write incident reports recently and I can only imagine what hers said. I have asked for my management to give me a "break" from her but its typically ignored.

Anyone else go through this??

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Had a partner that would sing along to music like an operatic tenor. She drove me insane, especially at 0200 driving to some call with John Cougar Melencamp on the radio. She kind of had a savior complex too. I went to nursing school. That's all I got...

DrParasite said:

you should quit and find a new job. or find a new job and then quit. either way, you should find a job where you are happier.

nothing you say about the job, or while working there is ever positive, and you have made several posts complaining about your employer and its conditions..

based on what you say, the place sucks, and you should go work somewhere else

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Then the company will have no one. This isnt a "me" problem. Anyone you talk to at our small company is there because they need to be there to pay bills, not because they want to be. All are unhappy. Believe it or not, I actually like EMS even though I told myself I wouldnt. We just dont like the company because of management, though there are plenty of good people there. Since you seem to have selective reading, as I have stated before, when something better comes along, I will move on. In the mean time, I will do this the best I can. I just want to make it more bearable because I care too much I guess.

KnightRider said:

Then the company will have no one. This isnt a "me" problem. Anyone you talk to at our small company is there because they need to be there to pay bills, not because they want to be. All are unhappy. Believe it or not, I actually like EMS even though I told myself I wouldnt. We just dont like the company because of management, though there are plenty of good people there. Since you seem to have selective reading, as I have stated before, when something better comes along, I will move on. In the mean time, I will do this the best I can. I just want to make it more bearable because I care too much I guess.

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Best advice is find better, but until then constantly complaining about it will just make it harder. Best to find other interests to pass your time and think of work as work and just count the clock till end of shift. Complaining doesn't help, most of us have been at the bottom of the barrel companies. It does get better once you find a better company.

I agee with @DrParasite on this.

KnightRider said:

So I'm starting to get at my wits end with my partner, a female basic with less then a year experience on the job. She is younger then me also.

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You said you have a problem with your partner, and then you mentioned things that should've had nothing to do with the problem. You put those details in for a reason. My first thought was "Ah, OP has a problem with young women." That is how it came across to me.

Everyone does. I can think of a few people I avoid working with whether it be because they are just plain *******s, do things that get on my nerves, or have just done things that cause me to not trust them like other partners I have. Most people I really enjoy working with. The ones that I don't like working with, I just do my job and try not to be a difficult partner so the 12 hours is at least a smooth 12 hours.

StCEMT said:

Everyone does. I can think of a few people I avoid working with whether it be because they are just plain *******s, do things that get on my nerves, or have just done things that cause me to not trust them like other partners I have. Most people I really enjoy working with. The ones that I don't like working with, I just do my job and try not to be a difficult partner so the 12 hours is at least a smooth 12 hours.

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^^^ Bingo

Aprz said:

I agee with @DrParasite on this.

You said you have a problem with your partner, and then you mentioned things that should've had nothing to do with the problem. You put those details in for a reason. My first thought was "Ah, OP has a problem with young women." That is how it came across to me.

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Oh good, and here I was thinking it was just me who read it like that. Glad to hear I'm not going crazy.

KnightRider said:

Then the company will have no one. This isnt a "me" problem.

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so how is the company having no one your issue? it's a "you" issue because you are the one having so many issues. I'm not saying you are the cause of the issue, nor am I implying it; however, history has shown that management won't do anything unless they are forced to, and having everyone leave and no one to staff the trucks has shown to be an effective way to enact change. Or the company will fold and everyone will get hired at another agency.

KnightRider said:

Anyone you talk to at our small company is there because they need to be there to pay bills, not because they want to be. All are unhappy. Believe it or not, I actually like EMS even though I told myself I wouldnt. We just dont like the company because of management, though there are plenty of good people there. Since you seem to have selective reading, as I have stated before, when something better comes along, I will move on. In the mean time, I will do this the best I can. I just want to make it more bearable because I care too much I guess.

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let me give you some advice, something that was told to me many years ago, when I was complaining to a more senior person at my agency. YAHOO. You Always Have Other Options. If you are that good, you should have no problems finding a job elsewhere. If it sucks so badly, than leave. Apply to another company. the "woe is me, this place sucks, but I can't leave because then the company will have no one to work the shift" is an excuse, a pathetic one, and is only given when you want people to take pity on you. If you are as good as you say you are, you should have no problems working somewhere else.

Yes, I picked apart your entire post. I responded to everything you said, and responded piece by piece. nothing was twisted: it was a direct response. If you just want to rant about how much it sucks, and how much your partner sucks, and how much the management sucks, than I got news for you: been there, done that, got the t-shirt, and i know I'm not the only one on here who is in that position. the smart ones don't whine, they work towards making things better. or tolerate it until they move on to something better.

You say you are in school: so your only going to be there for a short term, until you finish school right? so stop complaining (no one wants to hear it anyway, and you don't want any advice from people who have been there and don't support your point of view), keep your head down and make sure your paychecks don't bounce. I know the culture of suck often infects ****ty EMS agencies, but the constant whining isn't going to make you enjoy the job better. and remember, it's only 12 or 24 hours per shift, and maybe 3 days a week? is it really worth it to let the company make you that miserable when it's not even your entire week.