What's the dumbest thing you've said to a patient?

CPRinProgress · May 28, 2014

We had a older woman who spoke no English. I asked the daughter if she could ride in the ambulance to translate. She said yes so I said, "good because I don't speak Spanish."
She gave me a weird look and an LEO turned to me and said, "she is speaking in Polish."
Woops:rofl:

EMTTrainingResource · May 28, 2014

That is too funny

TacomaGirl · Jun 23, 2014

Haha, good ones. I can't come up with something right off the bat, but after stand-up 24rs everything is hilarious and funny. I don't know why.

Patch Adams · Jul 31, 2014

Any one ever ask hand amputee when getting them on the hospital gurney if they needed a hand?:unsure:

LACoGurneyjockey · Jul 31, 2014

To the diabetic bilateral amputee, "Ok let's just swing your legs up onto the gurney".

Brandon O · Oct 17, 2014

Sublime said:
I'm sure i've said many dumb things to patients, but one in particular comes to mind.

As an EMT student my preceptor was showing me how to listen to fetal heart tones. The fetal heart monitor was low on battery and turned off as I was trying to locate the heart tones.I blurted out "I think it's dead" as I still had the probe on her abdomen.

The young girls eyes got huge and my preceptor said "The machine not the baby" and gave me an odd look lol.

You did fetal heart monitoring on the ambulance?

NomadicMedic · Oct 19, 2014

My best was while walking into a cardiac arrest. BLS was doing CPR and I wanted a quick story so I said, "Hey guys, what's going on?"

The look from the guys's wife was the pure death stare.

Oops.

Brandon O · Oct 19, 2014

DEmedic said:
My best was while walking into a cardiac arrest. BLS was doing CPR and I wanted a quick story so I said, "Hey guys, what's going on?"

The look from the guys's wife was the pure death stare.

Oops.

"Oh, nothing much. Sup with you?"

TransportJockey · Oct 19, 2014

Brandon O said:
You did fetal heart monitoring on the ambulance?

Fetal heart tones just require a cheap Doppler. But then again our fixed wings have full fetal monitoring capabilities

STXmedic · Oct 19, 2014

TransportJockey said:
Fetal heart tones just require a cheap Doppler. But then again our fixed wings have full fetal monitoring capabilities

I just assumed sublime was referring to a hospital rotation... Don't know of any services, at least around here, that carry a Doppler

NomadicMedic · Oct 19, 2014

STXmedic said:
I just assumed sublime was referring to a hospital rotation... Don't know of any services, at least around here, that carry a Doppler

Just about every BLS fire engine in King county WA has one.

Brandon O · Oct 20, 2014

DEmedic said:
Just about every BLS fire engine in King county WA has one.

That's rad. For what purpose is it used?

Chimpie · Oct 20, 2014

Let's get back on topic please.

NomadicMedic · Oct 20, 2014

Brandon O said:
That's rad. For what purpose is it used?

The fire monkeys use it for blood pressures.

STXmedic · Oct 20, 2014

DEmedic said:
The fire monkeys use it for blood pressures.

MackTheKnife · Oct 21, 2014

"Do you want to touch my monkey?"

TransportJockey · Oct 21, 2014

STXmedic said:

I think that's the best use I've seen for that picture lol

harold1981 · Nov 9, 2014

I was working in the Caribbean when I brought a young lady from a rear-end collision into the ED and told the triage nurse that she was ''hit from behind" which in that language is synonymous to saying "she was taken from behind". It was kind of embarrasing as the nurse, who is known for her sharp tongue replied: ,,we all do sometimes, but why is she here?''

ERDoc · Nov 10, 2014

I had a 20 something woman who was drunk for the first time (supposedly). She was going on about how she didn't feel well and finally grabs my coat and says, "I don't understand why I feel this way." Without thinking about it, I replied, "Ma'am, it's because you are totally ****faced." This was in a room where there was another pt and their family behind a curtain. Luckily they thought it was pretty funny when I went to apologize to them.

I had another drunk lady who was one of those people who gets very emotional, tearful and apologetic when she drinks. She was going on about how bad she felt that she was bothering us and that she didn't want us to hate her. Again, without thinking, I said, "You can't make us hate you more than we already do." I felt bad because she really wasn't that bad of a pt and it wasn't what I meant but luckily she didn't pick up on it, but the nurse in the room did and had to leave so she didn't laugh in front of the pt.

Blondee · Nov 13, 2014

In ER clinical trying to make a 8yo feel more comfortable i asked "how was school today?"
it was saturday.
merp..

What's the dumbest thing you've said to a patient?

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