gradygirl
TROUBLE
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My buddy called me at about midnight last night and said "In 19 years in EMS, I have never seen what I just saw." Of course, I'm hooked, right? So I'm like "OK, what happened?" He can barely contain his laughter as he says "Well, we got dispatched to a man with a knife in his pocket that slipped and stabbed himself in the penis." I just start laughing, but he stops me and says "No, there's more." So I'm like, well shoot, how could there be more? Well, the rest of the story goes something like this: he and his partner arrive and walk into the house. FD, PD, everyone is there, and apparently so preoccupied that no one remembered to cancel the FD's Tac unit. They get to the bathroom when one of the firefighters says "He cut it off." My buddy's just like, "F--- you..." but another firefighter says "No, really. He cut it off." So my he walks into the bathroom which, as he described it, "looked like a really bad '80s horror flick." The pt's just sitting there, and when my friend asks him what happened, he calmly said "Dude, I cut my s--- off, what do you think happened?" And when my friend saw the injury, yes, "it" was completely severed. Apparently what had happened is he had gotten "it" stuck in the zipper and tried releasing himself with the use of a steak knife. The knife slipped and little Willy came right off.
Well, so my buddy transports him to the ED, the trauma room is PACKED with nurses, doctors, everyone who wanted to see just exactly the CMED patch into the hospital was talking about. Patient comes in. Surgeons examine him. There is no way that they can reattach his penis because the steak knife did too much damage. So now this dude's gonna be peeing out of a nub. :wacko:
Well, so my buddy transports him to the ED, the trauma room is PACKED with nurses, doctors, everyone who wanted to see just exactly the CMED patch into the hospital was talking about. Patient comes in. Surgeons examine him. There is no way that they can reattach his penis because the steak knife did too much damage. So now this dude's gonna be peeing out of a nub. :wacko: